Playing With Fire
by Tyler AM
Summary: A body is found charred beyond recognition in an alleyway in Uptown Manhattan. Can Castle and Beckett determine who the victim is, how and why they were killed all while navigating changes in the precinct and their own relationship? *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

This being my first fic I want to really thank my fantastic Beta readers…thanks so much for your feedback. Also to all the Loonies over at The Old Haunt for encouraging me to take the plunge….

Please review but also please be gentle with me…I do love constructive criticism so heave it all my way!

The first couple chapters of this one are pretty much stage setting; therefore, not much Caskett to speak of…but I promise if you stay with me there will be much coming and I do not think you'll be disappointed!

I do not own Castle/Beckett or any other persons mentioned here…nor do I work for ABC (If I did I would be wandering into a writers meeting or two) or infringe upon any of their rights regarding said characters

ENJOY!

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><p>"Burn all, burn everything. Fire is bright and fire is clean."<p>

– Captain Beatty, Fahrenheit 451

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><p>She could still feel the heat from the flames clinging like a dense fog to the alleyway. She wasn't even sure how long ago the fire was put out but she could feel the difference in the temperature as the air hit the skin on her face. Her translucent green eyes scanned the scene; slowly, methodically as they always did when she first came across a body. A person; <em>this person; <em>was someone's child, probably a sibling, most definitely a friend, maybe even a lover.

Detective Katherine Beckett kneeled next to the body, being careful to not step too closely for fear of destroying evidence. She didn't want to get _that_ glare from the County Medical Examiner; her best friend Dr. Lanie Parish. Lanie was kneeling next to the body as well, mirroring Kate on its right side. A clipboard was in her left hand, pen in her right, taking notes as to the condition of the body.

"Anything?" Kate asked her friend after registering the look of indignation on Lanie's face.

"Right now all I've got for you is female."

"That's all…?" Kate asked, a tone of irritation rising in her voice.

"Honestly, I don't know how much I'm going to be able to tell you before an autopsy."

"Well how did you get that?"

"Angle of the pelvic bone, length and breadth of the tibia's and rib cage…"

"Well anything else you can tell me is better than me sitting here twiddling my thumbs."

"You know how much I hate conjecture."

"Likewise, but I can't very well go to Gates and say 'we're scouring Uptown Manhattan seeing if someone is missing a female…' there's not even an age range in that! She'll bust my rank just for the Castle-ness of the comment…"

"Have you heard from him lately?"

"Lanie, not the time or the place…" Kate cautioned her friend.

"Oh come on, girl. He's been gone for three months on that stupid publicity tour and I know you've been keeping in contact… What all have you two been talking about to pass those long, late nights away from each other, huh?" Lanie asked with a sing-song quality to her voice, like it was the most natural thing to ask her best friend while standing over a body that smelled like a camp fire.

"Nothing…we talk…he asks how work is, and about cases, and I ask how he's handling being on the road around that douchebag of a publicist the studio saddled him with while on said tour…"

"Nothing else to add…?"

"Nothing at all," Kate said in response, lowering her head back down to the body, signaling that she was done with the current conversation.

"Well…I can say," Lanie said, giving in to her friend's wishes, for now at least, "this doesn't look, or smell, like an accelerant was used."

"So someone just lit a match and set sparky on fire?" came the low voice from behind her. The lilt in his voice made Kate grin, just slightly, then compose herself once she remembered where she was and what she was doing.

"Speak of the devil," she whispered to Lanie; then increased her volume to address him as he approached, "Hey, Castle, nice to see you deemed us worthy of your time today." Kate said as she stood and turned toward him. Her eyes met his light blue ones and caught the blatant playfulness lingering there as his lips turned upward in that classic smile. Richard Castle stood in front of her, hands outstretched with two white cups, which, as she knew so well, would be filled with coffee. _120_, she quietly noted as he handed her the cup remembering his comment about her owing him about a hundred coffees.

"Well you know, "he said as he interrupted her thoughts, and placed his left hand into his pants pocket, "I figured it was time to get some 'slummin' in…hit the beat with the rank and file and all…"

"You mean the police…"

"You say tomato…"

"Anyways…" Kate interrupted, as she turned back to Lanie who was still situated at the girl's right side, "Just let me know what you find as soon as you finish the autopsy."

"Always do…"

Kate took one more moment, just a second, to gaze back into the girl's face. There wasn't much there now, just a glob of burned up flesh without much distinction.

"Do we even know who she is?" Castle asked her, breaking Kate out of her moment with the victim. Kate looked up and into Lanie's face attempting to see some semblance of an idea there as to how to identify this girl.

"Not yet," answered Kate.

"And we obviously can't count on fingerprints in this case…" Lanie noted as she held up the girl's right hand which was merely a mass of fully charred, blackened flesh.

"Well at least there isn't a decomposing body smell."

"Way to look at the glass as half full, Castle." Kate said to the man behind her with a smile to Lanie.

"I'll have to contact a Forensic Odontologist for this one…but I won't even have anything to compare dentals to unless we can ID her…" Lanie said, her voice trailing off slightly as her thoughts took over. Kate could almost see the wheels in her best friend's head turning at triple speed.

"So the two buildings on either side of the alleyway here are abandoned, thank you economic recession." interjected the ever-constant voice of Detective Kevin Ryan as he and his partner, Detective Javier Esposito, walked toward Beckett, Castle and Lanie. "Castle! Hey...you just get in?"

"Yesterday."

"What and you didn't even call? No email, no message?" Esposito countered, looking at Castle with mock indignation creasing his features.

"Yea really, you don't even give us a heads up..." Ryan continued, "And you didn't even bring US coffee...nice to know where we stand after three months of barely any contact."

"Do you ladies want us to leave you alone so you can have this argument in private?" Kate asked, her eyebrows raised at the three men standing in front of her. "Or can we get back to the dead body?"

"Right..." Ryan said burying his face in his notepad.

"We'll finish this later..." Esposito said quietly, narrowing his eyes in the writer's direction.

Ryan turned back to Kate Beckett and continued his briefing, "Across the street is a basketball court built for the neighborhood kids by some hot shot NBA star which is closed and locked by 11pm every evening, and after that I'm guessing there isn't too much foot traffic since this isn't really a commercial area, and the closest residential area is about a quarter mile from here on either side."

"So TOD would have to be after 11pm then…" Esposito said, as he looked to Lanie.

"That's a pretty fair assessment since I'd hope that if someone saw a fire burning in an alleyway they would at least stop to see what was burning…" Lanie answered.

"If only because New Yorker's just love to poke their noses into things." said Ryan.

"So no one to canvas…" Kate interjected.

"That's the basic idea."

"Well, I'll let you know official TOD and COD once I get her back to the morgue" said Lanie.

"We've had rookies and uniforms dumpster diving in a grid over a stretch of about a quarter mile from here…they found a wallet in one about one block west of here…" Esposito handed Kate the long, thin, black wallet. She opened it and gazed at the photo on the driver's license.

"Says the name is Evelyn Masters, Oregon license with an address in SW Portland…she's 21 years old…"

"What is she doing all the way out here in the middle of the night…?" Esposito interrupted.

"Maybe she needed a walk…" Castle postulated.

"A walk?" Esposito looked at Castle, putting a voice to the looks on the other four faces surrounding him.

"Yeah why not? She's stressed, in need of some relaxation…maybe a little clean air…"

"Clean air? Dude…" Ryan said.

"So she wakes up and decides to take a 2,800 mile plus walk from Portland, Oregon to Manhattan in the middle of September?" Kate questioned. He knew the look in her eye as she stared at him with her eyebrows raised and that slight upturn at the edges of her lips.

"I didn't mean a walk from…" Castle stammered.

"As always your theories are cracking this case wide open Castle." She retorted. "As I was going to say, there's a school ID here for Pace University," she interrupted him as she held the small plastic rectangle in her gloved hand. Kate looked from the small porcelain skinned face of the auburn haired girl in the photo down to the charred remains on the ground. Evelyn's picture didn't match the face in front of her. "But we don't know for certain it's her" Kate continued, "and if we go to the family asking for dental records and it's not her…" Her voice trailed off. The others did not need her to finish her thought, they knew exactly where the sentence was heading. Losing her mother as a teenager had affected Kate Beckett deeply and they knew she would never want to invite that pain upon a family without knowing for certain that the body before them was, in fact, the person they thought she was. She felt Castle's presence closer to her before she heard his voice:

"Kate, it may be the only way." He said quietly, trying to gain some sort of thoroughfare into her mind. He stepped back as she turned toward him, then to Esposito, Ryan and finally turned toward Lanie once again.

"Can we get a number for that address on her license? See if it's hers or maybe her parent's'." she asked as she handed the license to Esposito.

"Will do" Ryan and Esposito said in unison as they took notes on their police notepads, folded them up, placed the notebooks in the inside pockets of their jackets and walked back down the alley to where it opened up onto the street.

"Espo, Ryan…" she called after them. "Check missing persons, as well, just in case…see if maybe someone tried to report her missing. If she's a student from out-of-state then she likely lives in an apartment or on campus, and hopefully has some roommates who just might be missing her…" Kate turned back to the body and added, "especially since it doesn't look like she ever came home last night…"

Richard Castle stood watching his partner in silence. It was moments like these he knew he would never truly be able to fathom the depths of Kate Beckett's ability to draw off her own past and reach into the lives of those who had loved and lost as she had. Evelyn, if the young woman lying in front of them was actually Evelyn Masters, never came home last night – and she never would again. Just like Johanna Beckett never came home again after Dick Coonan took her life nearly 14 years ago.

"So, didn't your plane land yesterday morning? What have you been up to for an entire day?" Kate asked, interrupting Castle's train of thought as she turned from the body and began walking toward him.

"Alexis…"

"I'm not sure the tone in your voice means that as a good thing or a bad thing…"

"Me either…"

"Does she not like college so far?"

"It seems like she does…I mean it's Columbia for crying out loud…she really loved the campus when we did the tour in the Spring, and then she was so excited picking out her classes and moving into the dorms…"

"Then what's with the tone?"

"She just seemed a bit off, ya know?"

"Off how?"

"Like she's lost"

"She is Castle"

"Huh?" He stopped, looking at her with the most bewildered expression she thought she had ever seen from him in four years.

"As much as you both will never admit it, you are ridiculously close. As much as she wants to venture out on her own, be mature and live her own life, she doesn't want to let go of what she had. She was comfortable, safe and secure in high school…in the loft…with you…, and now she's out there all by herself and she doesn't completely know how to handle it."

"Ok I'm getting this strange 'speaking from experience' vibe here…" he said.

"I was so ready to move out and live in the dorms when I went to school, and I am grateful I did, but it was tough in the beginning."

"So what do I do…?"

"You…"

"Drive over there, Alexis-nap her and tie her up in her room so she can never leave me ever again…" he spouted in one rushed breath cutting her off.

"I was going to say 'let it go' but yours just reeks of overreacting and co-dependency so I'd go with that…" Kate said, letting the smile on her face seep into her voice.

"That's just what I was thinking." He said as he reached for the handle of the Crown Vic sitting on the curb in front of them and dropping into the passenger seat.

Kate stood momentarily letting the smile take over her expression. He really did amaze her sometimes, though she would never admit it out loud. Her mind wandered once again to how much she loved his concern and love for Alexis, how he would do anything for her and his obvious adoration for the woman she was becoming. She watched him through the window as she walked slowly around the car to the driver's side. As she reached out to pull open the door. he caught her eye, and even through the glass partition between them, she could see the concern in his eyes. In an instant it was gone and the tiny spark of impishness resurfaced in his countenance. She opened the door, slipped behind the wheel and buckled her seat belt.

With her left hand on the wheel and her right hand on the gearshift, she stole one more glance to her right and met his bright, blue eyes with her light green ones. They held each other's gaze…maybe a moment too long, or not enough…then she turned her head to look over her left shoulder and threw the car into reverse, then into drive as she pulled away from the curb and headed east toward the 12th precinct;, letting the smile creep slowly onto her lips and linger there as she recounted the look in his eyes.

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><p>"So, you haven't really mentioned how everything went…" Kate ventured as they sat idling at a red light.<p>

"It was good." He said. Something in his voice made Kate glance to her right, her eyebrows cocked in a way that told him she did not for one second believe the fake optimism he was trying and failing to force into his voice. "No really, it was great getting to spend some time with Natalie and the guys; and seeing the whole movie press junket from that perspective was just crazy!"

"So what's with the tone, then?"

"It was just a long three months…" he exhaled, the words carrying a weight they both could feel touching their souls and bearing down on them like a ten-ton weight. So much was said; but also left unsaid the last time they laid eyes on each other three months previous. She could still see it, hear it, _feel it_, all so clearly…

_They stood in front of the door leading into the 12__th__ precinct as the sun began to set behind the high-rises looming around them. _

_ "Castle, what is it…honestly, you look like a freshman trying to ask a senior to the prom…" she smiled as he rolled his eyes at her comment regarding his uneasiness._

_ "Black Pawn and the studio have banded together to hoodwink me into going on the press junket for _Heat Wave_…they're hoping it will help to stir up a little publicity for the new book before it launches in September." He spouted in one breath._

_ "Press junket? So that means…"_

_ "I'll likely be gone for at least the next couple months, if not longer…"_

_ "I take it you've already told Gates?" Kate asked._

_ "Did she do a happy dance the moment I walked out of the bull pen?"_

_ "Pretty close..." They both smiled then. Their eyes locked and held each other's gaze as they had so often done over the past three years. _

_ "So…" Kate said finally breaking their silence and lowering her gaze from his, "I guess I'll talk to you in a few months." She stammered, wil__l__ing the disappointment out of her voice; afraid it wasn't working as well as it might have years ago…before he had so easily begun to break through her shell and expose all the things she was trying so desperately to hide. Dr. Burke's question rang in her memory "what are you scared of, Kate? That he won't wait for you, or that he will?" She still wasn't completely sure she knew the answer to the question…or at least…that's what she kept telling herself._

_ "Actually, I was hoping we could keep in touch while I'm gone…" he said. Without realizing it, they were standing less than five inches from each other. Who had closed the gap between them, and when? They had just walked out of the precinct and were standing at least an__arm's length from each other…but now…she could almost feel his breath on her face. _

_ "Really…?" she asked, letting that teasing tone creep into her remark._

_ "Well, I was hoping to be kept in the loop, at least a little bit, so that when I get back I'm not struggling to catch up on cases or what__'__s been happening…" he stated, trying and failing to cover his intentions. He really was an open book to her sometimes. _

_ "Well__,__ I could see if Ryan and Espo would be willing to keep you up to date, maybe some emails or something?" Kate said as she began moving away from him toward the subway entrance. He began walking with her._

_ "Oh…um…yeah I guess that could work…" he faltered. Open book. She stopped then, and turned toward him and he stopped short, nearly bumping into her before he was able to catch himself. _

_ "Castle, if you have something to say, just say it…" she countered._

_ "Well…"_

_ "Castle…" she stepped closer to him. Just a hair closer; but close enough so they could both feel the difference._

_ "I don't want to go another summer without speaking to you. Been there, done that…three years running and I, personally, do not want to do it again." he said with a bravado she had only seen occasionally in the time she had known him. And, as with all those times, it was causing her stomach to flutter and her heart to quicken. Something about that tone in his voice and the look in his eyes, she knew she felt the same way. She didn't want another summer without him either…now she just had to muster up the courage to say it to him. _Just say something_, she chided herself, _say something_…_

_ "Then how about we don't.__..__"  
><em>

"It's going to be a busy week isn't it?" She ventured through the silence that still hung in the air between them once her mind shifted back to the present. "The book launch tonight and then the _Heat Wave_ premiere this weekend…"

"Yeah its going to be an interesting one…you still coming to the launch party tonight?"

"I was planning on it…as long as this case doesn't get out of hand."

"Good…" he said, mostly to himself as Kate pulled the car into an open space in front of the 12th. She looked to him and smiled as she unbuckled her seat belt, opened her door and stepped out of the car. "Good." He restated to the empty car. He took a deep breath and then got out of the car following his partner into the precinct.

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><p>Hopefully Chapter 2 will be coming your way soon…leave a comment if you have a moment!<p>

Thanks for stopping by!

3 AM Ward


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much to all the wonderful people who took time to review Chapter 1 and also to add story alerts! You all made my day :) _

_To Jayce Gish - thanks very much for pointing out my gaffe that Ryan and Esposito didn't really respond to seeing Castle at the crime scene...I have added a couple lines in chapter one if you have a chance to check it out let me know what you think!_

_I have also gone back in to chapter one and updated a couple continuity issues that came up once I secured the timeline of the murder so - in a nutshell - it's Tuesday morning, Castle's flight got in Monday morning...gracias!_

_Once again to my amazing Beta's Marjo and Stella...thanks for reading and for your comments...you ladies are the best!_

_Disclaimer - see previous!_

NOW - onto chapter 2 :)

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><p>Walking into the 12th precinct always felt like coming home to Kate Beckett. She couldn't really explain it. Even though she loved her father and knew that his place and hers were home, there was just something comforting about the precinct. The bullpen chatter and nearly constant movement of the homicide division made her smile to herself. Yes, she loved her job. It was intensely difficult and tiring most days, but she hoped in some small way, she was making a difference.<p>

She could feel his presence behind her as she stepped out of the elevator. Soon he was walking right beside her, as they tended to do. Shoulder to shoulder – partners. They reached her desk and she pulled out her chair and sat down, as he took his normal perch on his seat to the left of her. Settling himself in, he set his right ankle on his left knee, folded his hands in his lap and looked toward her. Sunlight was streaming through the small sliver of the windows visible just in front of him, which lined the stairway up to the next level of the building. She sat, concentrating on the notes she had taken at the crime scene preparing herself for the process of noting the Murder Board, which sat freshly white and vacant to her left – just beyond Castle.

Beckett could feel his eyes on her; she always could. _Always._

"Is there something you would care to share with the class?" she asked turning toward him.

"Not really. Why?"

"Because you're staring at me like you're trying to Jedi mind meld me that's why."

"Did you honestly just Star Wars me?" he cocked his eyebrow, his eyes lighting up when she held his gaze and her eyes narrowed just slightly into that classic Beckett glare. "Be still my beating heart…"

"Castle…seriously?"

"Ok, ok…I'm just curious how you're going to go about getting the ID for the victim…"

"I haven't really figured that out yet." She said as she stood, notepad in hand and walked toward the board. Beckett picked up a black marker from the tray on the bottom and uncapped it; ready for her process to begin. With the familiar cylindrical instrument poised she moved her right hand up to the board and began to write the aspects of the case they actually knew...which, she noted sadly as she wrote, wasn't much. Under the heading **Victim** she wrote unidentified, female – possible ID Evelyn Masters, OR license found in dumpster one block from crime scene, student at Pace University, 21 years old. The **Suspect** column was blank. She moved to the bottom of the board to trace a long, thick black perpendicular line – the timeline. The timeline was her friend, under normal circumstances, anyways. Today, it was the bane of her existence because it only screamed at her what she already knew…they had nothing.

She drew one small line at a ninety-degree angle from the timeline and wrote 11:00pm notating this as the time that the basketball court across the street from the crime scene was closed on a nightly basis. Then she drew another ninety-degree line closer to the right end of the line and wrote 5:47am noting the time the body was called in to the 911 operator.

"What are you thinking?" Castle asked, noticing the crease in her brow and the way her hands rested on her waist as she scrutinized the Murder Board in front of her.

"Nothing," Kate said as she placed the cap back on the marker and set it in the tray. She turned to him and registered the concern in his eyes. "Really, Castle, it's nothing. I just need a time of death."

"Timeline not making sense?"

"Not really…if time of death is after 11:00pm and the call was made at 5:47am…how would her body be so badly burned?" Kate asked the confusion evident on her face.

"So we ran a search on the address from the license. It's a residence belonging to Garrett and Lisa Masters of Portland, Oregon. We also found a report called in by the Masters' when their daughter didn't call them to check in Sunday night along with another missing person's report filed by a Joselyn Camden…" Esposito said as he and Ryan walked up to Beckett at the board. Esposito handed her a file containing the reports.

"Sunday night?" she questioned.

"Yeah, that's what the report says." Ryan answered as he reached to the file in her hand and opened it to the page noting the date and time the report was filed.

"So if Evelyn didn't call home on Sunday night and we didn't find her until Tuesday morning…"

"Timeline starting to make a bit more sense?" Castle ventured, seeing the spark enter Kate's countenance. He smiled remembering Natalie Rhodes' comment about her posture changing depending on if she had a suspect or not…_guess it leaks into all aspects of an investigation_, he thought.

"What are you grinning about?" Kate asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"Huh?" he started, and caught her eye. He then noted Ryan and Esposito looking at him. "Um nothing…continue…" he pointed to the files and then settled himself into his seat next to Beckett's desk.

"Joselyn Camden who is she?"

"Evelyn's Roommate here at Pace. She called the campus police Monday morning when Evelyn hadn't shown up for their first class, but she said they acted 'as if they didn't give a damn' saying that she likely just skipped class, but Joselyn said she would never do that…so she decided to call the 'real cops'," Ryan answered.

"Don't we just love hearing that?" Esposito countered.

"Campus cops do tend to be a bit…lax." Kate countered.

"Understatement of the century." Ryan sing-songed from her right.

"So if this body is Evelyn Masters," Kate continued as she grabbed the marker from the tray and opened it. She put marker to board and began sectioning off the timeline, "Then we have three days of details to try and piece together. Sunday night she didn't call her parents to check in. Monday morning she doesn't show up at class so roommate reports her missing. Then Tuesday at 5:47am 911 call is made about a body in an alley."

"So she was likely dead by Monday morning then?" Ryan asked no one in particular. All three pairs of eyes turned to him.

"But then if there were people using that court on Monday wouldn't they have seen something?"

"Not necessarily…" Castle interjected.

"What do you mean?" Esposito asked, his eyes narrowing as Castle shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well, what I'm saying, is that maybe…just maybe, someone lit her up Sunday evening after the court was closed. Then she was done baking by Monday morning before the court would be open but well hidden enough that no one would notice the body…" he ended sheepishly as the faces of the three detectives around him turned quickly from him to each other.

"Where's your report from the 911 caller?" Kate asked Ryan and Esposito.

"In your hand…but I'll break it down for you." Esposito said as he took a seat on the edge of the desk next to Castle. "Junkie by the name of Edmon Wynter went wandering into the alley early this morning looking for some place to hide out."

"He says he went into the alley and went to go sit down behind the dumpster when he noticed a large blue painters tarp lying on the ground on the side of the dumpster facing away from the street." Ryan concluded.

"So…junkie goes looking for something to keep himself warm and thinks he's hit pay dirt with the tarp…" Kate began.

"But then he lifts up the tarp and 'hello, sailor'." Castle finished.

"Your outlandish flare is, as always, entirely helpful, Mr. Castle." Came the stoic voice from the office down the hall and to the left of where the trio of detectives and Castle were gathered. Kate Beckett looked to Captain Victoria Gates standing just beyond the doorframe to her office with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Thanks, Captain, glad to be considered helpful." Castle responded to her with a mix of intense sarcasm and a bit of what Kate could only categorize as longing, in his voice.

"Where are you on the charred remains found this morning, Detectives?" Captain Gates asked placing a slight emphasis on the last word while moving closer to the group.

"Well Sir, so far it's only speculation. We can't say anything concrete until we have the ID and that may not be coming until later today or tomorrow afternoon because Dr. Parish had to call in a Forensic Odontologist from the University. But unless we have dentals to compare to it's going to be difficult to identify her."

"So speculation leads to fiction I take it?" she said looking toward Castle, who shifted just slightly in his seat – his head lowering almost imperceptibly closer to his chest. "Beckett, I'd like to see you in my office for a moment."

"Yes Sir." She said to the older woman's retreating, well tailored back. Kate set the marker she was still holding on the tray below the board.

"What did you do this time?" Esposito teased.

"She hear you calling her Iron Gates again?" Ryan asked, one eyebrow raised.

"No!" Kate retorted, "She only hears it when Castle says it."

"Once! I said it once and she just HAD to be standing RIGHT behind me!"

"They're always standing right behind you when will you ever learn that?" Ryan said.

"Oh, big bad 'I've been married for nine months so I know all' Kevin Ryan…" Castle began.

"Bro, apparently Castle works on a really low grade learning curve." Esposito piled on cutting Castle off mid-sentence.

And the boys were off. Kate could hear them continue their jabbing as she walked away from them and toward her boss' office. She still could not call Gates her Captain. She had tried, honestly, to use the word to describe the woman sitting behind those doors. But she couldn't. She only had one Captain and he always would be. She paused a moment before the doors, took a deep breath in and then exhaled. She placed her hand on the doorknob and pushed through to the room.

"Close the door, please."

"Is everything alright, Sir? I know that the investigation isn't really gaining much headway and we're usually a lot further along than this by now, but…"

"It's not the investigation, Detective, relax. And sit please."

Kate Beckett considered the woman in front of her as she took a seat in the chair on the right side, furthest from the wall of windows lining the wall out into the bullpen. She could just glimpse Castle, Ryan and Esposito. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that the one-liners were flying by now and she found herself wishing she were out there instead of in here.

"Detective…" Gates began, drawing Kate's attention back to her. "I know that the past few months have been a bit hectic. But I really wanted to let you know how impressed I was and am with the work you all have been doing. Some tough cases were put to bed and convictions obtained. You should be pleased."

"Thank you, sir." Kate responded, not completely sure what else to say and wondering if there was an angle behind this meeting. Something in the other woman's tone of voice made Kate wary of the words she was hearing, they sounded pretty and congratulatory, but part of her was waiting for the shit to hit the fan…the other shoe to drop…

"And I'm trying to figure out why you think I would let you work cases with a team of four when you've proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can do it with three?"

WHAM! There it was…the shit storm…Castle…

"I…" Kate stammered, "I'm sorry, sir…"

"Beckett, I've told you before, you are an excellent cop. Honestly, one of the best I've seen. And while I know you all seem to like having that pal of yours around, though I'm still not completely sure why, he's not a cop."

"Sir…" Kate began, attempting to correlate her thoughts, but her mind was swimming. She knew in the back of her mind that one day it might come to this. Gates had never seen them work without Castle, and now that she had, she was obviously determined to ensure he wasn't hanging around 'her' precinct for long. "The mayor has asked that Castle be allowed to stay to research procedure and protocol for his novels." She finished. _Lame, Kate_, she berated herself, _SO lame to go that route._

"The mayor, well yes he has asked that Castle be 'involved' while he finishes his 'research', but if I remember correctly the book launch tonight is for the fourth Nikki Heat novel. And wasn't the contract with his publishers only for three additional novels after the first was published?" Gates asked, as she leaned back in her chair placing her arms lightly on the armrests of her chair. Kate could feel all the air leave her body. Was it possible to suffocate from shock? Disbelief? Indignation? She was frozen to the chair, her hands tensed in her lap and for the first time since she was shot in the chest, she could feel every muscle in her body.

"Sir, I know that, technically Castle doesn't have any more research to do…at least for Nikki Heat…but you can't seriously be considering…"

"I am considering, Detective Beckett. I am more than considering. I've made my decision. He can finish out this case and then he's gone."

"And there is nothing I can say or do to change your mind?" Kate asked, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears somehow.

"No Detective, there is not." Gates said resolutely. Kate stood. Her legs felt like Jell-O beneath her, making her wonder how in the world she was supporting her own weight at all. She turned, walking through a haze as she moved to the doors in front of her. With one hand on the doorknob she stopped short. Her hand fell from the knob and she turned back toward the smug woman still sitting behind her desk.

"Sir, if I may?"

"Yes?"

"Why is it that you are so threatened by Castle being here? What is it about him that gets you so on edge? I know he's not a cop…" she stated as Gates began to open her mouth to speak. "But maybe that's why we like having him here. Maybe it helps to break up a day, a case, so that we don't get complacent and start thinking inside boxes and making mistakes."

"Those are all good reasons for him to stay, Detective, I'll admit."

"Then why are you kicking him out?"

"Because they're a convenient excuse, not the real reason."

"I'm sorry, sir, I don't…" Kate began.

"Beckett, my decision is final. He can finish out this case. Once the lowlife responsible for this tragedy is behind bars, he's gone." Gates reached over to her desk and picked up her reading glasses, perching them on her nose. She opened up a file sitting in front of her signaling once and for all to Kate that this meeting, and conversation, was over.

Kate turned. She opened the door and closed it, slightly harder than she had intended to, she told herself, knowing full well it wasn't true. She was thrown. In fact she was upset…no strike that…she was damned angry. As she walked out of Gates' office she noticed Castle still seated in his normal spot, right next to her desk, staring up at the Murder Board studying it. Ryan and Esposito were nowhere in sight.

"Where are Ryan and Esposito?"

"They got the number for the Masters' so they said they were going to call and ask them about getting Evelyn's dental x-rays to try and either ID her or rule her out." He could tell the difference in her carriage the moment he laid eyes on her. She moved past him and pulled out her chair, sitting herself down with more force than Castle thought he'd ever seen from her.

"Everything ok?"

She looked at him. His crystal-clear blue eyes were starring at her. Drilling deep into her and she wondered if she would actually be able to lie to him. Three years ago it would have been all too easy, two years ago even, last year a little less. Now, it was tearing her up inside not saying it, but she knew the moment she said it out loud – well that would make it real. She thought about the secrets she held, this newest one not nearly as earth shattering as the other, and still she couldn't bring herself to say the words to him. _Which one would be easier, Kate,_ she chided herself, _tell him you've been lying to him for more than a year or that he's out by order of the Iron Maiden._

"Kate?" his voice ripped into her thoughts and brought her back to the present. His voice. His face. His eyes. His lips…_Holy hell where did that come from?_ She screamed at herself. "You ok? You look like you just had a bucket of ice water dumped on you." He continued. Then she felt it. His left hand had reached over and was now resting lightly on top of her left hand. The look of concern on his face, the feeling of his hand on hers, made her head spin.

"I'm fine, Castle."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. There's just…something I should probably tell you…" Kate began softly. He shifted in his seat so that he could lean in closer to her - placing both of his hands on top of hers. There was that damn flutter in her stomach again. She lowered her head taking in their hands and willing herself to stop feeling what she was feeling. Then his voice broke in:

"You can tell me anything. You know that…"

"I know…" she looked back up and held his gaze. She took a deep breath, opened her mouth, and…

"We got in touch with Mr. Garrett Masters of Portland, Oregon and asked him if he would mind providing Evelyn's dental records to us in order to either confirm or deny our vic's ID." Esposito called as he and Ryan walked back into the bullpen. Kate shifted backwards in her seat, putting a bit of much needed distance in between Castle and her. "Everything ok?" he asked noticing the shift in Castle and Beckett's demeanor as his partner and he crossed to them.

"Mr. Castle, I need a word with you?" Gates' voice crashed through the bullpen like a sledgehammer…_oh God, why didn't I just tell him?_ Kate thought as she watched Gates turn and move back into her office. Castle looked to her, his face conveying fear and a bit of hope that just maybe this could be a good meeting. The look he met with from his partner's face did little to buck up the part that was grasping for hope. He took a breath, stood and walked toward the glass doors. Kate could see the tension building in his back as he moved closer and closer to the door. In an instant, he was behind the doors…how would Gates break it to him. Would she smile? Most likely. Would he try to fight it and change her mind? Even more likely.

"Earth to Beckett…" Ryan said, waving his hands wildly in front of her trying to capture her attention.

"Huh?"

"You ok? You went somewhere else there for a second…"

"Yeah I'm fine…so what did Mr. Masters say?"

"He said he'd contact his daughter's dentist and get them to us as quickly as they could. He also mentioned that he and his wife are going to fly out here as soon as they can…" Ryan finished.

"I figured they might," said Kate, as she stood and moved to the Murder Board. She needed something…anything…to keep her mind from wandering to what Gates was telling Castle behind closed doors. The sound of her cell phone ringing pulled her back. She reached over and plucked the iPhone off her desk, noting it was Lanie calling she pressed the green accept button and held the phone to her ear.

"Hey Lanie, what's up?"

"So still no ID on your vic…"

"Ah Lanie, and here I was hoping for some good news."

"Well good things come to those who wait."

"Why do I doubt that…?" Kate said quietly.

"But, I may have a time of death and a possible cause for you if you would like those?" The comment grabbed Kate Beckett's full attention.

"Really?"

"I think so…if you head over I'll likely have even more to tell you by the time you get here."

"You are the best…"

"Well that's why they pay me the big bucks…oh wait…"

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Kate said in the midst of her laughter at her friend's comment. She heard the other end of the line go dead. She removed the phone from her ear and placed it back on her desk. She reached for the jacket sitting on the back of her chair and looked toward Gates' office as she pulled it on. Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed Castle stand and offer a hand to Gates across the desk. To Kate's astonishment, she saw Gates' hand extend and grasp Castle's, shaking it firmly. Their hands released and she saw Castle turn and move toward the office door. The door opened and he stepped out mimicking Kate's action of closing the wooden door just harder than he should have. He looked up and stopped short when he noticed her looking at him. His shoulder's sagged, not much, she noted, but enough that she bet any hope he carried when he walked into that office was dashed to hell. He walked toward where she stood in front of her desk and stopped just in front of her.

"So…"

"So…" she parroted him.

"What now?"

* * *

><p>Next time on Castle: visiting Lanie at the Morgue and the book launch party :)<p>

Thanks for reading once again, and also drop a review if you have a moment...would love to hear what you're thinking!

Amy


	3. Chapter 3

_As always to my fantastic betas - Stella, Marjo and Nicole - just reading your email comments are enough to make every second of writing this worth it! Thank you!_

_There is some (what I hope is) Caskett goodness in this chapter...so for those who were looking forward to it...let me know what you think in the review area..._

_now...on to Chapter 3 _

* * *

><p>"The most important things are the hardest things to say."<p>

- Stephen King, _The Body_

* * *

><p>"I should have told you…" said Kate. She looked to her right where Castle sat in the passenger seat of her Crown Victoria. They had been silent since leaving the 12th precinct on their way to the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner. His gaze was fixed looking out the front window as Kate turned the car and headed south, down 2nd Avenue. "Castle, say something…anything…" she urged him as he kept staring. Now she was getting irritated. "Ok, Castle, come on. Will you stop sulking and talk to me…?"<p>

He turned to her, surprised. She caught his gaze for a moment before turning her attention back to the road as the light at 7th Street turned red. _Perfect, _she thought, _just enough time for me to beat it out of him if I have to._

"Sorry…I'm not sulking." He finally ventured, " I'm just thinking."

"About…?"

"Everything."

"Could you be any more vague?" she asked. He smiled at the hint of laughter in her voice.

"Oh I definitely could…"

"I don't doubt it." She was smiling. He didn't even need to be looking at her to know it. He could hear it in her voice. The way the soft cadence of it was so endlessly able to change his mood astounded him. She could take his breath away, make him smile, make him laugh and make him angry with just one comment or a look. It was a special quality that only this wonderful woman next to him possessed. No one else in the world had ever made him feel so secure and so in danger at the same time. It was something he had only ever written about, and never experienced before her. He could feel her staring at him, her eyes boring into the left side of his face. He shifted in his seat so that his body was partially turned toward her.

"I was just wondering what I'm going to do to fill my days once this case is over."

"Well…I guess you could try writing…" she offered.

"Ha….ha…" he mocked, "Very funny…well played, Detective. Yes, obviously there is that. It's just…well, I…" his voice trailed off.

"Castle…you can tell me anything." She mimicked his words to her from inside the precinct, lifting her right hand off the steering wheel and placing it on his left hand, which was resting on the console between them. They only touched for an instant before she placed her hand back on the steering wheel to turn the car east onto 4th Street, but it was enough to leave the skin on both their hands tingling.

"I'm not ready for this to be over." He let the words hang in the silence between them, wondering if she would catch the complexity and numerous connotations of the phrase. The least of it being that he couldn't even imagine not spending every day here…with her, let alone begin to think about not having her in his life. Her voice shook him out of his reverie:

"Neither am I." she said softly. It was barely even audible but he knew she had said it by the look on her face. Even in profile he could see the change in her demeanor, and by the time she turned the car heading north on 1st Avenue toward the OCME Manhattan office, silence had returned to the car. Kate pulled into a rare open spot right in front of the building and placed the car in park. She turned the ignition off and removed the keys, holding the warm metal in her hands.

"We going inside?" he asked. She turned her upper body towards him in her seat so her right shoulder was resting against the seat back. She looked right into his eyes and he couldn't suppress the smile that took over his face at the look of sheer determination and defiance gracing her elegant features. "The look on your face both terrifies and excites me…."

"I say we do everything we can to fight this." She said resolutely.

"Gates said the decision was final…I'm out at the end of this case."

"When have you ever listened to a direct order from anyone…but especially from her?"

"Good point. So what's the master plan, Obi Wan?"

"Really? Now you're Star Wars referencing me?"

"Well you know, turnabout…"

"We can fight this, Castle. I don't know exactly how yet…but I will…she's tried to kick you out before and it didn't work…"

"Yes but the circumstances were different," he interjected. "The mayor was a suspect in a murder investigation, and he's a friend of mine, so obviously I can't be objective…"

"Well…"

"We're not going down that rabbit hole…" he cut her off. He didn't want to rehash the Damian Westlake debacle…at least he had been right about the Mayor's innocence, if not about Damian's.

"Look. I know the circumstances were different…" Kate continued.

"After tonight there isn't another book due…"

"There has to be some way to get her to change her mind. And I will find it." She stated. She turned and opened her door, stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut. Castle followed suit and stepped out of the car into the chilled fall air. The leaves on the rare spattering of trees along the street were turning hues of golden yellow, orange and ruby red painting the edges of his view with a halo of color rarely seen in the city, at least outside of Central Park.

He caught up with her at the door into the OCME office. They crossed through the all-too-familiar lobby to the elevators. Kate pushed the down button and they stood waiting for the car to recall to the ground level. Once on the elevator they stood a discreet distance from one another. They did not speak, maybe out of fear that something that shouldn't be said - in this time and place - might spill out, she mused to herself. She ventured a look to her right and suppressed a smile when she caught him looking at her. They continued the ride to the morgue in silence as they both contemplated the ways to ensure their partnership would not end when the case did.

The elevator chimed; signaling it had reached their desired destination. They both looked to the doors as they opened. Castle stepped aside and swept his right hand out in front of him, motioning for her to go first making them both smile.

"Hey Lanie," Kate called as they stepped through the double doors into the autopsy bay. "We got here as quickly as we could. Please tell me you have good news?"

"Well, I think I do…" Lanie responded as she walked them toward the charred remains lying on her autopsy table in the middle of the room. "Dr. Miller, the Forensic Odontologist I requested to verify the dentals should be here tomorrow afternoon."

"Good, we should have Evelyn Masters' x-rays by then. Her parents are flying out, and they should be here by 11:00am tomorrow morning." Kate said.

"Well at least there's one small favor in this case."

"On the phone you said you may have a time and cause of death?"

"Well time I'm putting between 11:30pm Sunday night and 11:00am Monday morning."

"That's a pretty big window…" Kate said.

"That's not a window, that's a gaping hole." Castle said.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Castle," Lanie teased. "Yes, it's a large time frame but without knowing exactly what killed her, I can't narrow down the time any more than that."

"Didn't you say you had a cause?"

"A preliminary cause only, not a definitive one. I sent off a sample for analysis to see if there was any accelerant used that wouldn't be easily identified by either smell or sight. It's going to take about a day, so hopefully I'll have that back for you once we have the ID. I do know; however, that it takes more than five hours to fully cook a 110-pound human being.

And based on trace evidence from the alley, the body was lying there for at least 18 hours by the time we all arrived at the crime scene, which means there is no way that she was burned any later than 11:00am Monday morning."

"And by then there was likely a pick-up game going on the court so someone would have seen something and hopefully called it in and no one did. So what's the prelim COD?" Kate asked.

"I'm going with Smoky the Bear on a psychotic rampage." Castle said. He was met by narrowed eyes and pursed lips from both the women in front of him.

"Didn't Smokey the Bear preach preventing forest fires?" Kate asked.

"Right…Ok, how about…Captain Beatty on a psychotic rampage?"

"Do you have any theories that do not involve fictional beings?"

"Fire Swamp?" He stated without hesitation but with raised eyebrows and _that_ grin. "What? Inconceivable?" he added noting the exasperated looks on their faces, "You said no fictional BEINGS, nothing about fictional PLACES." He said defiantly.

"And back to reality…" Kate said as she returned her attention to Lanie.

"As you wish." Castle lightly sung, making Kate's eyes go wide. She barely registered Lanie's grin before she took a deep breath.

"So cause of death?" Kate said trying desperately to turn the conversation back to the case at hand.

"I'm going with death by fire…." Castle said.

"Thank you, Castle," Lanie said. "Right now death was caused by burning…"

"So she wasn't dead when she was…"

"Lit up like a roman candle?" Castle finished.

"You know your boundless tact amazes me…" Kate said sarcastically.

"Hey if I don't get it out know then I'll say something in front of the family. And you wouldn't want that now would you, Detective?" Ignoring him she turned her attention back to Lanie.

"No, she wasn't dead…" Lanie said. "though you will be interested to know that there was minimal damage to her lungs."

"Which means she wasn't breathing deeply or gasping for air…" Beckett exclaimed.

"That's right."

"You would think if she was asleep that being burned alive would wake her up and fight like hell to STOP burning." Castle said.

"It's looking to me like she was drugged, maybe anesthetized. Something that knocked her out to the point where even if she did wake up she wouldn't fully comprehend what was happening to her until it was too late."

"You'll let me know when the analysis comes back about the accelerant?" Kate asked.

"You're the first to know after me." Lanie said.

The sound of a cell phone ringing jarred them each out of the conversation. Castle reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone, frowning as he checked the screen.

"I should take this." He said and walked out the door answering the call and placing the phone to his ear as the door closed.

"OK, now that he's gone, dish."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked her friend.

"Javier said something happened at the precinct but he didn't know what."

"What makes him think something happened?"

"Because when he and Kevin came back into the bullpen he said you and Castle both looked like someone just run over a puppy." Kate took in her friend and sighed. She turned to make certain that Castle was engrossed in his phone call and then returned her attention to Lanie.

"Iron Gates laid down the law. Castle's out once the case is done."

"What?" Lanie said, her eyes widening and her jaw going slack.

"Yup."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?" Kate asked evasively.

"Girl, don't make me come across this table at you. You know exactly what I mean. How are you going to hoodwink her into keeping him around?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

"So you are working on a plan?" Lanie asked, her eyebrows raised and the edges of her mouth turned upwards in a mischievous smile.

"Yes…" Kate reiterated. "I am working on a plan. Don't look so happy about it…" she said in response to Lanie's smile widening even further.

"Oh, sweetie, you two have got to stop doing this…"

"Doing what?" Kate asked, mock bewilderment crossing her features.

"What did I just say to you? Do I need to come over there?" Lanie asked, hands on her hips. Kate only smiled in response.

"When are you two ever going to stop acting like you don't care; but then stopping at nothing to make certain you don't lose each other?"

"It's the dance we do…" Kate said with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"And it's choreographed to within an inch of its life…"

"So what's going on with you and Javi?" Kate asked loudly, changing the subject.

"Oh no…no, no, no, no, no…" Lanie said as she grabbed a file off her tray table full of medical instruments

"Oh come on, you can do it but I can't?"

"I think Castle's coming back in…"

"Nice try…come on, I talked now it's your turn…" Kate said as Lanie walked back toward her and came up on Kate's left side.

"I don't know…honestly," Lanie responded to the incredulous look on her friend's face.

"You two have been 'taking it slow' since, what, February? And you still haven't found the time to sit down and discuss your relationship?"

"Sad isn't it…." Lanie stated.

"And you balk at me and Castle…"

"Hey at least Javi and I have accepted – and acknowledged - the fact that we want to be together…"

"Shut it." Kate said with a smile, turning from Lanie and looking to the body on the table beside her.

"You and I are quite the duo aren't we?" Lanie said after a beat causing both women to laugh.

"You two look like you're having way too much fun…" They both turned at the sound of Castle's voice as he walked back through the double doors into the autopsy bay.

"Well you know, all work and no play…" Lanie said as she moved away from Kate and back toward a desk on the far side of the room.

"Speaking of play," Castle began, "You still coming to the book launch tonight?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Lanie exclaimed.

Kate felt the vibration of her cell phone in her pocket and reached into her jacket. She checked the screen, seeing it was a text message from Ryan letting her know that they had contacted Joselyn Camden and she wouldn't be able to come in until the morning. Kate locked her phone and placed it back in her pocket.

"We'll see you in a few hours, Lanie." Kate said as she signaled to Castle that it was time to leave. He nodded and followed her out of the autopsy bay, into the hallway, and onto the waiting elevator. They stepped out of the elevator, Kate first, and walked through the lobby and out into the waning sunlight. They were nearly to the car when Castle spoke:

"Would you mind just dropping me at the station at 14th? I'll hop the L train."

"You're not coming back to the 12th?"

"No…I have some stuff I have to finish before the launch tonight."

"Stuff?" she questioned. He took in a deep breath and considered her for a moment. "Castle?"

"That was Gina on the phone. They want me to do this interview with a reporter from the _Post_ before the launch…"

"You sound so enthusiastic."

"Oh, I just can't wait," he said sarcastically.

"I can drive you to the loft…"

"It's out of your way."

"I don't mind." Kate said. Once again they had moved closer to one another. She tried to tell herself it was from the chill in the air breezing around them but she knew it wasn't. They wanted to be close to each other, or at least she wanted to be close to him, and she prayed to God he felt the same way.

"I know…but I could actually use the subway ride right now…calm me down a bit, clear my head." She nodded. He turned to move toward the car again, but stopped when he felt her hand in his. She turned him around to face her.

"We will figure this out, Castle. I'm not giving up that easily."

"Me neither."

* * *

><p>He stood in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom. He was holding up two freshly starched shirts: one dark blue and the other royal purple. He wasn't concentrating on what he was going to wear to the launch; all he could think about was the fact that tonight would be the last time he would see a new chapter of Nikki Heat, the fictional version <em>and<em> the real one. It could very well be one of the last nights he ever spent with Kate Beckett and at that thought his arms fell to his sides. Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply. He held the breath for a moment, releasing it when he heard the soft voice behind him.

"Go with the blue, it brings out your eyes."

He looked up and locked eyes in the mirror with his daughter's reflection. Alexis was smiling at him and he couldn't help but smile while taking in her soft porcelain features and marveling at the grace of the young woman before him. His gaze moved from her to himself in the mirror.

"You decide to get ready here instead of the dorms?"

"Yeah, Grams and I decided we should go together and it's easier to leave from here."

"You really think the blue?"

"Definitely," Alexis said, "Plus it will look great against the cover art." They both laughed as she came up on his left side and placed her head on his shoulder. He set his head on top of hers and sighed. "Dad, what's going on? It's like you're somewhere else?"

"It's just work stuff…"

"Nikki Heat work or Detective Beckett work?"

"A bit of both actually…" Alexis' reflection raised its eyebrows at him not buying his deflection. He would have to give more details. "Captain Gates has decided that since this is the last Nikki Heat novel there is no reason for me to be at the precinct anymore. This case will be my last."

"She isn't completely wrong though…" Alexis said. "There really isn't any reason besides your research for you to be at the precinct day in and day out…" she finished letting the words hang in the air and a small smile play on the edges of her lips.

"I know she's right, but that doesn't change…" he said, his voice falling off.

"Dad, spit it out!" Alexis said as she stepped back from the mirror forcing him to look at her and not her reflection in the glass. She took the shirts from his hands and placed them on a chair just behind her to the left. He looked at his daughter and smiled. She really was too smart for her own good. "It doesn't change the fact that you love her." Alexis continued, "And the fact that she likely has no idea…and even if she does, maybe she doesn't feel the same way…" she finished.

"Have you been reading my diary when I'm not around?" he joked.

"You're an open book, dad. It's not that hard to figure out what you're thinking when it comes to Kate Beckett…and if you really kept a diary I would shoot you where you stand." They both laughed then as he reached out to take her in his arms and give her a quick hug. They stepped back and he obliged her:

"I like being there…seeing her everyday…but it's not even just her…honestly" he said to Alexis' look of disbelief. "It's helping out with the cases, hanging out with Ryan and Esposito…"

"Dad, they'll still be your friends whether or not you're at the precinct every day. Friendship isn't dictated by proximity."

"You need to get out of those honors classes…Columbia is just making you stupid," he teased. She smiled at him, letting the action light up her face.

"Dad," she prodded, making him look at her straight. "Do you remember last year when I asked you if she made you happy?"

"Yes…"

"And you said she did. And then I asked you if it was enough and you said it was 'for now'."

"You are correct…"

"Well…is it still enough?" They locked eyes. Hers was imploring him to look deep, to honestly ask himself what he was thinking and what he wanted. His were begging her to not make him say it out loud. Saying it would put it out in the universe, and he wasn't certain if he was ready for it. "Dad, you have to decide. If this is the last case and you don't have any idea where you stand with the woman you are completely in love with…" she took a breath, "Dad," she reached over and took both of his hands in hers. "If you don't take a chance, you'll regret it." She squeezed his hands and reached up to place a light kiss on his right cheek. She dropped his hands and turned to leave the room. She stopped when she heard his voice in the stillness:

"Alexis," she turned toward him, "no matter what happens…you'll always be my best girl."

"And you'll always be my best guy." She smiled and turned, walking out of his room and closing the door lightly behind her. He reached over to the chair and plucked up the dark blue shirt. He turned back to his reflection in the mirror and held the shirt up to his body, appraising his appearance. He nodded his head in approval and moved to change his clothes.

He walked out of the bedroom minutes later to see Alexis sitting at the bar chatting with her grandmother. They both turned when they heard the door open and sat straight up in their seats when they saw him.

"Kiddo, looking very dapper this evening…" Martha said.

"Thank you, Mother. You as well…" he countered, sarcastically, taking in the bathrobe she wore and the towel wrapped around her head.

"Well, I figured I would put my best foot forward…" she teased, placing her right hand on the towel on her head and letting her head tilt back slightly in her best 'diva' pose.

"I'm going to take a shower," Alexis announced, "Dad, I'll see you in a few…" she turned and disappeared up the stairs to her room. Martha looked toward her son across the counter. He was standing at the sink, glass of water in his hand, but he wasn't drinking it. He was just staring at it; lost in his thoughts.

"Richard…you feeling ok?" Martha asked.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because you've been staring at that glass since you poured it. You still reeling from the Captain's decision?"

"Alexis told you?"

"Yes."

"Just trying to figure out what to do."

"You work the case and prove to that woman that you bring something that is desperately needed to that team, so that she will find it completely impossible to send you packing."

"Ah, mother, why didn't I think of that?"

"Kill the sarcasm."

"Sorry…I just don't think that's going to work with Gates. She's completely immovable…once she makes up her mind it doesn't change."

"Make her change it."

"Not as easy as it sounds."

"Richard, listen to me," Martha began, placing both her hands on his left hand, which was resting on the counter in front of him. The glass of water was placed forgotten on the counter near to the sink. "I've told you this before and you obviously refuse to listen to my advice, so let me reiterate," she made certain she had his full attention before she continued, "Don't waste another moment. You never know how much time you have and if you don't take a chance, especially now, you will only wonder 'what if' for the rest of your life. There's no time like the present, kiddo." She finished. She stood and moved toward the staircase following Alexis' lead and disappeared upstairs to her bedroom leaving her son with his thoughts.

* * *

><p>The atmosphere in the ballroom was jovial. He walked the red carpet quickly, smiling pleasantly and allowing photos to be taken of him with Alexis on his right arm and Martha on his left, each holding onto his hand. Once inside they both gave him a quick hug and moved to mingle with the other people standing around holding drinks and talking animatedly. In the center of the room was a large table with layer upon layer of his latest, and last, Nikki Heat novel: <em>In The Heat of The Night<em>. He tried but could not completely suppress the jolt of misery that crept into his stomach at seeing the book sitting there in front of him. Exclamations from the entrance into the ballroom pulled him from his thoughts as he turned toward the noise. His heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat the instant he saw her.

Kate Beckett entered the ballroom with an embarrassed smile on her face, which widened and became more genuine when she noticed Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny approaching her. To him she was always beautiful, but there were moments like tonight that she was - for a lack of a better term – drop dead gorgeous. He took in the way the light purple and gold fabric of her dress clung to the subtle curves of her body - just tight enough to entice; but loose enough to leave oh so much to his imagination - and the way she seemed to float even in those ridiculously high heels she wore. Something in the way she carried herself and the way she moved so effortlessly made him stare and not even care if someone noticed. She could feel his eyes on her, and she looked up from the conversation she was having with Lanie and Jenny to meet his gaze. She smiled and excused herself from the group to move toward him.

"You know…you clean up pretty well, Castle." She said once she was standing in front of him.

"Right back at you, Detective." She could tell he was forcing some form of formality into his voice and cocked her head to the right as she stepped slightly closer to him.

"Kate!" a voice called from Beckett's left as she and Castle both registered the movement of the redheaded tornado heading for them. When Alexis reached them she threw her arms around Kate and they both smiled brightly.

"I'm so glad you're here…."

"Me too…" Kate responded, "What's up?"

"OK so I finally decided what I'm doing about my language requirement…"

"And….?" Kate asked expectantly. She knew Castle was only half aware of what they were talking about, but he settled for following their conversation with his head – back and forth, back and forth - from one woman to the other.

"Next term I start Russian 101!" Alexis said.

"Fantatíčeskij!" Kate exclaimed. She noted the double take from Castle as his wide eyes took her in.

"You speak Russian?" He exclaimed loudly, "How did I not know this?"

"Ah, Castle," Kate said, "I've got to keep you guessing." She registered the bewildered look in his eyes and quickly winked at him then turned back to Alexis.

"So you'd be ok with tutoring?"

"Of course I will. Oh Alexis, you're going to love it…it really is a fascinating language."

"Well I figured I've already tackled French and Latin and they were going to allow me to test out of the language requirement but I figured, what the hell, might as well go for broke and add in a Slavic language with all the romantic ones! Oh…there's something else…" she stopped and looked to her left where Castle was standing. "Dad, do you mind if I steal her away for a second?"

"No, go ahead…"

"Thanks!" Alexis said as she took hold of Kate's arm and they walked away. Castle watched them walk away and began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" he heard behind him and suddenly all the joy her felt was sucked out of him. He turned and was met with the ice-cold stare of his publisher and ex-wife, Gina Cowell. At her right was his book agent, Paula.

"Gina, Paula to what do I owe this pleasure." He said, trying and failing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

"Richard, thank you so much for being so forth coming at the interview with the _Post_ as I asked…oh wait…" Gina said. The irritation was evident in her voice and it made him chuckle a bit.

"Well you know that I just love making sure the press is fully aware of my entire life…" he countered. Sarcasm was his best defense against her…that and distance, which is what he really wanted right now, but knowing the later was not likely at this moment he opted for sarcasm - and lots of it. "Look Gina if you really wanted someone to perform for the nice reporter and read from a script then you should have just done the interview yourself." He offered.

"Funny. Well at least this will likely be the last Nikki Heat-related interview you'll do…" she said off-handedly. To him, it felt like a swift kick to the groin.

Paula noticed the sudden shift in his expression and posture. "Rick, you ok?"

"Yeah, Paula I'm fine…" he said, trying desperately to not let on to these two everything that had conspired at the 12th in the past eleven hours. Thankfully, their attention was pulled elsewhere as Alexis and Kate returned to where the trio was standing.

"Gina…Paula…always nice to see you." Alexis said, forcing happiness into her voice while directing an eye roll at Kate, which made the later woman suppress a laugh.

"You as well, Alexis…" Gina said a smile forced onto her face and into her voice. She then turned her attention to Kate. "I'm sorry, we haven't met., I'm Gina Cowell of Black Pawn Publishing." She extended her hand to Kate who took it lightly.

"Actually we've met…it was a couple years ago at the 12th…" Gina regarded the woman with a mixture of what Kate could only deem contempt and surprise. "Detective Kate Beckett,, NYPD." The moment she said her name she felt Gina's hand fall from hers, seeing the light bulb ignite in Gina's memory and her mind suddenly make the connection.

"Right, Nikki Heat…" she said lamely as her eyes looked Kate Beckett up and down, sizing her up. Kate could barely suppress the smile playing on her lips at the change in Gina's posture. Gina was nervous, and it couldn't have made Kate any happier to see the other woman begin to squirm.

"Well, I guess I better get back to the crowd." Gina said dismissing herself.

"Rick, I was hoping to chat with you for a second." Paula ventured, turning toward Alexis and Kate making certain it was all right to steal her client away. Alexis and Kate both nodded and watched as Paula grabbed Castle by the arm and walked him to a sparsely populated corner of the room.

"By the way," Alexis leaned in to Beckett's ear, "have you read the dedication?"

"No…why?"

"You should…" Alexis said and then turned and walked away leaving Kate to turn slowly toward the table at the center of the room. She walked to the table and took a copy of the tome in her right hand. The cover was glossy, graced by the ever-present naked silhouette of Nikki Heat surrounded by hues of black, blue and purple hovering over the New York City skyline. She opened the cover to the dedication page and read:

_To Nikki Heat,_

_Though mere words could never fully express everything you are to me._

He was standing next to her before she finished the sentence. She closed the book and took a breath, then turned to her left and met his eyes.

"Hi…" she said breathlessly.

"Hi," he said, his eyes flicked down to the book in her hand as she placed it back in its spot on the table.

"The dedication…" she began not really knowing where the thought was taking her.

"I meant it…and not just for the Nikki Heat on the page." His voice was soft but deep, imploring her to understand the meaning of his words, and the fact that they were meant only for her. They stood, their eyes not moving from one another, getting lost in the moment and happy to let the entire world move around them. They only wanted to remain in this place.

"OK, what in the world is Iron Gates doing here?" she heard Ryan exclaim from her right as he, Jenny, Esposito and Lanie approached. They all turned to the entrance just in time to see Captain Victoria Gates enter the ballroom wearing a deep red, tasteful, cocktail dress and adorning the arm of a tall, dark and gorgeous man with a smile that lit up the room the moment they entered.

"Cause I invited her." Castle said eliciting shocked, and even slightly horrified, looks from the three women and two men next to him.

"Why would you invite her?" Lanie asked him.

"A little goodwill…plus there's no reason for her to not like me anymore considering she's getting what she wants right? Me out of her precinct…" he finished quickly as they noticed the couple walking towards them. "Captain, I'm glad you were able to come," Castle said as they approached. "Hi, I'm Richard Castle…" he extended his hand to her companion.

"Dr. Jonah Gates. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Castle. I've heard a lot about you, all of you actually, from Victoria." He said, taking Castle's hand and shaking it.

"Jonah," Victoria Gates said as she motioned around the circle introducing each of the people around her one-by-one: "This is Dr. Lanie Parish, the county's Chief Medical Examiner; Detective Javier Esposito, Detective and Mrs. Kevin and Jennifer Ryan and…Detective Kate Beckett." They each uttered their hellos as she moved around the group. "This is my husband, Jonah." Beckett was astounded. She didn't think she had ever seen Gates smile so genuinely and seem so relaxed. Not to mention, she never could have imagined this man as Iron Gates' husband.

"So, Dr. Gates," Lanie said finally breaking the silence of the group, "Are you an M.D.?"

"PhD…I teach Astronomy at Columbia."

"Really…my daughter just started her freshman year at Columbia." Castle stated.

"How's she liking it so far?"

"She seems to be enjoying the atmosphere, the classes. She's mentioned how much she loves the campus and her professors. How long have you been at the University?"

"I've been teaching there for fifteen years now. Our son, Ethan, is actually attending this fall, starting graduate work in contemporary American fiction."

"Contemporary American Fiction…is he a TA for a Dr. Waller?" None of them had even noticed Alexis turn up at Castle's side.

"Captain Gates, I'm sure you remember my daughter, Alexis. Honey this is the Captain's husband, Dr. Jonah Gates, he teaches Astronomy at Columbia." Castle said as Alexis extended her hand toward Victoria Gates and then Jonah Gates.

"It's nice to see you again Captain and it's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Gates."

"Nice to see you again as well, Alexis." Victoria Gates responded to the smile on the young girls' face.

"And yes, Ethan is TA-ing for Alyson Waller. How did you know that?" Jonah asked.

"I'm taking her class this semester. I never would have thought the TA was your son." Alexis took in the group around her and continue, "How about I show everyone to the bar?" Alexis offered noting the look on her father and Kate's faces and recognizing the need for some space - taking pity on them and their situation – and deciding it was a good time to deflect some of the company. She began walking, making certain the others were following her before turning back and catching her father mouth 'thank you' in her direction. She responded with a mouthed 'you're welcome' and walked away.

"Alone again…" Castle said rocking backward lightly on his heels. Kate smiled and let her eyes meet his once again. He heard the shift in the music playing through the speakers and decided to finally take his mother's and daughter's advice. _No time like the present_, he told himself, as he extended his left hand to her.

"May I have this dance?"

She didn't say a word. She didn't need to. The only response he needed was the one she gave: the feeling of her warm, delicate hand in his and the look in her eyes. He walked backwards leading her without a sound onto the dance floor. He placed his right hand discretely on her upper back and felt the heavenly pressure of her left hand on his shoulder. They began to sway as the music played:

_You're in my arms and all the world is calm_

_The music playing on for only two_

_So close together and when I'm with you_

_So close to feeling alive_

Their eyes held steady, never leaving the other's gaze. She could feel the pressure of his hand move to the small of her back. She let her hand glide over to rest on the nape of his neck and languished in the feeling of the soft texture of his hair on her fingertips.

He was astounded when she didn't make a move to put more distance between them, or try to place his hand at a more polite spot on her person. His breath caught in his throat as he felt the coolness of her touch on the exposed skin of his neck.

_A life goes by romantic dreams must die_

_So I bid mine goodbye and never knew_

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you_

_And now forever I know_

_All that I want is to hold you so close_

Somehow they were dancing cheek to cheek. As had happened so often over the past few hours, she wasn't even sure when they had moved so close to one another, but they had. They were close enough she could feel him breathing, the steady rise and fall of his chest was intoxicating in such close proximity. She swore she could even hear his heartbeat pounding in rhythm with hers and she let her eyes close as she tried to memorize every movement they made together.

He noted that their feet were barely even moving. They were basically swaying on the spot. Their clasped hands – his left, her right – were nearly resting on his chest. He let his eyes drift closed and breathed in the scent of her – a light mixture of, he believed, jasmine with a mild hint of cherries - making his head spin.

_So close to reaching that famous happy ending_

_Almost believing this one's not pretend_

_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come_

_So far, we are, so close_

A tingle ran the length of her spine and spread through her body when she felt the warmth of his breath on the side of her face. She could just barely hear his voice as he began to sing lightly in her ear:

_How could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now? _

_We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending_

_Almost believing this one's not pretend_

_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

_So close, so close _

_And still so far_

She pulled back from him just enough to be able to meet his eyes. She watched the edges of his lips curl upward, the smile taking over his features and making his eyes shine. She couldn't believe the feeling of being in his arms…

The sound of the crowd of people clapping broke them out of their trance and they turned in time to see Gina step up to a podium and begin to speak into the microphone at the center. Kate Beckett didn't hear a word the woman said. The only thing in her thoughts was the realization that Castle was still holding her right hand loosely in his left. She looked to him and felt him squeeze her hand gently then release it as he walked to the podium.

* * *

><p>It was near midnight when Castle, Beckett, Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Jenny, Alexis and Martha walked from the ballroom and out into the cool September night. Beckett took a deep breath taking in the scent of the fall air around her.<p>

"Ok I think it's time to head home," Ryan said to the group, looking to his wife holding onto his left arm.

"I completely agree. I'm wiped!" Jenny said, "Rick, thank you so much for such an amazing evening." She hugged Castle then Beckett, Martha and Alexis.

"Lanie, Javi you guys want to share a cab?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, that sounds great." Lanie said. She moved to hug Kate. "I'll talk to you later," she whispered in her friend's ear.

"Oh yes you will," Kate whispered back. She raised her eyebrows toward Javier after they parted and then smiled when Lanie slapped her lightly on the arm. A yellow cab sat waiting at the curb and in an instant only Alexis, Martha, Castle and Beckett remained standing on the sidewalk.

"Well I'm heading back to the loft for the night…love you, dad." Alexis said, wrapping her arms around her father's neck and placing a kiss on his cheek. She then moved to Beckett, standing at his right side, and put her arms around the woman's neck, "Night, Kate."

"Night, Alexis." Kate responded.

"Grams, you coming?"

"Yes, dear," Martha responded. "Kate, darling, a pleasure as always."

"For me as well, Martha" Kate said as she hugged the older woman and smiled to Alexis.

"Richard, don't be _too_ much of a gentleman," she whispered in his ear, causing him to glare at her as they pulled apart.

"Thank you, Mother, for that sage advice." Castle said as Martha linked arms with Alexis and climbed into the limo waiting at the curb.

"You want a ride back to your place?" Castle asked Beckett.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna walk…it's a perfect night." She said looking up to the clear sky hanging about them. He looked up to the sky as well and then back to the limo. He walked to the open door and leaned inside. He straightened and stepped back from the curb, closing the door to the limo. He turned to Kate as the limo drove away and registered the question in her face.

"Not that I think you need a bodyguard…"

"Cause you would be SO helpful in that regard." She joked.

"I just agree that it's the perfect night for a walk." He moved to her side and motioned for her to lead the way. She turned and began to walk, him keeping pace at her left side.

"I never got a chance to thank you…" He said after a beat.

"For what?"

"For watching out for Alexis while I was gone."

"You have thanked me…many times in numerous phone conversations."

"In person, I meant, in person," Castle said.

"Well, it was nothing, honestly," Kate said, "She's pretty impressive that daughter of yours."

"I know it…what did you two do? She seems to have really taken to you…"

"We had coffees, lunches, a couple movies…a concert in the Park…it was nothing we just hung out., talked. It was great."

"Well I'm glad she has someone like you to look up to…and confide in."

"She never really connected with Gina, did she?"

"Well most of that was my fault, truth be told. I kept a wall between them…"

"Why? She was your wife, Alexis is your daughter, and you didn't want them to bond?" Kate asked him, looking to her left to gauge the reaction on his face. He looked at her and took a deep breath, mulling over his response:

"I think there was a part of me that knew it wouldn't work out. And I told myself I was just trying to keep Alexis safe."

"Makes sense, I guess," Kate said. "There is something I do have to ask you about…"

"What?" he asked, a sense of dread coming over him.

"The acknowledgement section of the book…" she began.

"What about it?"

"''Captain Permafrost'?" Kate looked at him with a bemused expression on her face. Castle stopped and began laughing at the sound of her saying the moniker he had applied to Captain Gates. "You actually put that in print?"

"Well, once again, not like she can do anything to me anymore!"

"'To Captain Permafrost'," Kate continued, "''Whom I hope to melt by the end of this book'. If she actually reads that, she'll bust me in the hope that it reverberates back to you!"

They arrived in front of her apartment 20 minutes later, laughing. She quieted him as they made their way down the hallway to her apartment, noting the time of morning and he placed his hand over his mouth the try and keep himself from laughing harder. She could barely remember laughing and smiling, enjoying life in general, before she had met Richard Castle, but she could pinpoint so many times since he came into her life.

"Here we are," he said as they reached her door.

She didn't move to open the door. He was standing in front of her and for the second time that night she was taken back by the look in his eyes. Before tonight the only time she had ever seen so much in his eyes was the day she lay on the ground bleeding from a gunshot wound to the chest. In that moment he had pleaded with her to stay with him, to just hold on. In that moment, he confessed that he loved her. In this moment she wondered if he might make a similar declaration, and she surprised herself when she realized she wanted him to.

She wanted to feel him closer and found herself moving into him, closing the distance between them. She felt the heat of his hands on her upper arms then the tingle they left on her skin as he moved his hands lightly, slowly down her arms. He stopped when he reached her hands letting his left hand fall to his side but holding her left hand in his right. She stifled a scream when she felt him take a step back. She watched him lower his head, raise her hand to his lips and place a light kiss on her hand. Her skin radiated from the point his lips touched and sent her reeling. He met her eyes again and spoke so softly she might not have heard him if not for the stillness of the midnight around them:

"Goodnight, Kate." She blinked back her surprise, trying desperately to not let the disappointment show in her face.

"Goodnight, Castle." She responded weakly, amazed she was even able to utter the words through her shock. He let go of her hand and turned walking down the hallway and out of her sight. She closed her eyes and let her entire body fall back heavily onto her door. She forced herself to inhale a deep breath and then exhale, all while trying to stop the tears that were forming from falling from her eyes.

* * *

><p>So I hope that I did not cause anyone to harm their computers in any way (as I apparently did to my poor betas!)...I promise Castle's mind set will be explained right away in Chapter 4 :)<p>

Thanks as always for reading...be sure to review!

Amy


	4. Chapter 4

_For all my Old Haunt homies :)_

_Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

><p>"What the hell were you thinking?" Alexis exclaimed once her father finished recounting the details of the events that conspired between him and Kate Beckett after they had parted ways with Martha and Alexis less than an hour earlier. Alexis stood from her spot across from Castle at the dining table and began to pace, "Not even a word about why you were leaving? You just left? You didn't even kiss the woman?" Alexis' volume had been rising with each unanswered question she posed to her father and now she was nearly screaming at him.<p>

"Ah, Kiddo, if Beckett doesn't shoot you after that exit, I just might." Martha interjected.

"Thank you, Mother, helpful as always."

"Hey don't get snippy with me, I'm not the one who had a romantic dance with the woman I love followed by a long midnight walk and then abandoned her in her hallway." Martha prodded him as she took a sip from her glass of water.

"For the love of God, dad, do we need to lock you two in a room?" Alexis asked, "Oh no wait, you've already been locked in a freezer; not to mention cuffed together; for hours and you nearly died both times, and you **STILL** didn't talk…"

"It's not that simple." Castle said meekly.

"Why, Dad? What makes this so complicated? You're out…you're not working together anymore after this case and you still can't talk to her?" Castle looked at her and closed his eyes. He exhaled the breath he realized he'd been holding and opened his eyes. She was still staring at him and he could see her agitation growing with each passing second.

"Look, I wanted to…you have no idea how badly I wanted to just kiss her right there and then."

"Then why didn't you?" Martha asked.

"Because I was standing there, looking into her eyes and all I could hear was her voice saying she knew she couldn't have the kind of relationship she wanted until she solved her mother's murder." He said. "And then all I could think of was the fact that for the last year I've been trying desperately to keep her from poking into the case all the while going behind her back and trying to find leads myself. And I never told her. I never told her what Mr. Smith told me…."

"So you ran away like a scared little girl instead of just telling her what you've been up to and facing it like a man?" Martha finished.

"Gram…"

"What? Honestly, doll, your father and Kate Beckett are crap communicators, probably the worst I've ever met. "

"Mother, things with me and Kate are…complicated. They always have been."

"Dad, you may be afraid of how she'll react to knowing that you went behind her back, but you can't keep doing this. It's driving you both crazy and you know it." Alexis walked over to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight, Dad. Goodnight, Gram." Alexis turned and walked up the stairs leaving Castle and Martha sitting at the dining table staring at one another.

* * *

><p>7:30am came too soon for Kate Beckett. The beeping of the alarm clock to the right of her bed made her groan and seriously contemplate shooting it…or maybe just throwing it across the room and into the wall opposite the bed. Her head ached. She remembered Castle standing close to her, looking into her eyes just hours earlier and then she remembered him saying goodnight and walking away from her. She remembered that, for the first time in years, she had cried herself to sleep. <em>That's where the headache came from<em>, she mused as she turned her alarm clock off and stumbled out of bed. She made her way into the bathroom clutching her head, in search of some aspirin. After finding the small white bottle she shook loose two pills and popped them in her mouth and swallowed.

She looked in the mirror in front of her and took an appraisal of her appearance. She was thankful she had left her hair down for the book launch so she wouldn't have to do much to it but she found herself wishing she hadn't walked home in heels - she could feel every muscle in her legs and feet. She ran a brush through her hair and then set out to get ready for work.

* * *

><p>He was sitting in his normal spot next to her desk when she entered the precinct at 9am Wednesday morning. She quietly thanked God she hadn't taken the elevator up to the homicide bullpen but had instead opted to come up the back stair way so that she walked in next to Ryan and Esposito's desks.<p>

She took a breath and walked to her desk noting the presence of a white coffee cup sitting next to her keyboard. She passed him, took off her jacket and hung it over the back of her chair. She pulled out the chair and sat down, all while trying desperately to not look Castle in the eye.

"Morning…" he ventured quietly. He could tell she was in a mood because she didn't look to him. She nodded almost imperceptibly and grumbled a hello. Kate…"

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan said as he and Esposito entered the bullpen from the break room, NYPD coffee cups in hand. "Garrett and Lisa Masters are here…"

"What?" She exclaimed, "I thought they weren't getting in until 11?"

"They weren't…they ended up getting an earlier flight so they came right over. We set them up in the break room whenever you want to talk to them."

"Thanks." She said. She grabbed her notepad and stood; leaving the coffee cup in its place Castle noted sadly. He got up from his spot and followed her to the break room. When they passed through the doors they were met with the haggard faces of Garrett and Lisa Masters.

"Mr. and Mrs. Masters, thank you for coming all this way." Kate said as she sat down at the table across from the couple. On the table before them sat dozens of photos; some older whereas some seemed to have been taken only a few weeks ago. Kate didn't need to ask what they were…she recognized the porcelain skin, auburn hair and bright green eyes from the photo on Evelyn Masters' drivers license.

"It's our pleasure…" Garrett Masters said looking toward Kate.

"Detective Kate Beckett, and this is Richard Castle." At her introduction Castle took a seat at the table directly across from Garrett Masters.

"As you were told on the phone, we still don't have a positive ID on the body that was found, though we did find Evelyn's wallet close by. It had been tossed in a dumpster about a block from the scene."

"That's what makes me think it is her," Lisa Masters spoke softly, her face never leaving the photos in front of her. "She never would have left her wallet somewhere where someone could get it, or just throw it away. She was always very responsible…especially recently."

"Why especially recently?" Kate asked.

"Her dorm was broken into a couple months ago. She said she reported it to the Campus police and they took a report but…" Lisa Masters' voice dropped off.

"Evie said they didn't take it very seriously because the room wasn't really disturbed."

"How do you mean?" Castle asked.

"She said that it wasn't trashed, it was just obvious that someone had been in her room. Like her room was searched but that the person tried to put everything back exactly as it was."

"She noticed things weren't where they were supposed to be. Evie was always a very tidy person," Lisa Masters interjected holding out a photo of her daughter. In the print Evelyn Masters stood in a floor length midnight blue dress. Her auburn tresses were curled and pulled back slightly with tendrils left to frame her soft face. She was smiling. Kate took hold of the picture and looked down into those green eyes which had been haunting her thoughts since she first encountered them on the Oregon drivers license found in that dumpster.

"That was the night of her Senior Prom," Lisa said. "She was so excited to get to wear that dress and get her hair done…said she felt like a princess..." Lisa Masters' voice fell silent as eyes closed and her head fell toward her chest.

"You said in the police report that you knew something was wrong when Evelyn didn't call home Sunday night?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Garrett Masters answered, "She called us normally every night, but she told us she would call us specifically on Sunday night and when she didn't…"

"Why specifically Sunday?" Castle asked.

"She said she was going to do something. She didn't tell us what, only that she was nervous about it and that she would call us before she went to bed Sunday. She asked us to be…praying for her." At the looks on Castle and Kate's faces Garrett Masters expanded, "My wife and I are pastors at a church in SW Portland."

"Evie believed whole heartedly in the power of prayer," Lisa Masters added, "We told her we would be praying and to let us know what was going on when she could."

"When was this conversation?" Kate asked.

"It was…um…Thursday night, I think." Lisa Masters said looking toward her husband.

"Yeah it was around five o' clock Thursday night…um, Portland time…so that would be…"

"8pm New York time." Castle noted as Kate wrote the details on the notepad in front of her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Masters…" Kate began. The feeling of her phone vibrating cut off her thoughts. She quickly checked the screen and noticed the call was from Lanie. "Would you excuse me just one moment, I need to take this." She said as she stood from her chair and walked to the door, placing her phone to her ear as she left the room, "Beckett."

"Hey, Kate," Lanie said. The tone in her voice did not make Kate too hopeful about good news coming out of the medical examiner's mouth. "Dr. Miller was able to get in and got a match on the dentals."

"And…" Kate asked, taking a deep breath as she prepared for the verdict.

"It's Evelyn Masters."

"And that's positive?"

"Yes. He is completely certain. There were too many similarities between the x-rays and the dentals for it to not be."

"Alright. Thanks Lanie."

"Sure thing…"

"Hey," Kate said before Lanie could hang up the phone. "Would it be too much to hope that you got that analysis back on a possible accelerant?"

"Not yet, my best guess would be this afternoon. I'll call you the instant I get it."

"Thanks." Kate hung up the phone and turned to look through the window into the break room. She took in a deep breath and allowed herself the moment to exhale in order to compose her thoughts. Thoughts composed, she pushed through the door.

"I'm so sorry for the interruption," Kate said as she moved to the table. She met Castle's eyes and with one look was able to tell him that their fears had been confirmed.

"Mr. and Mrs. Masters, that was the medical examiner. We were able to get a Forensic Dentist in to verify the dentals on the woman we found, and I am sorry to say he has matched the dentals to Evelyn's x-rays."

He would never fully get used to the reactions of families upon hearing the worst news they could ever imagine. How had he heard it described once? Telling someone a person they loved had been killed casts you as the main character in their worst day ever. That was it. Kate Beckett was now the main character in Garrett and Lisa Masters' worst day ever. He watched as Lisa Masters' head fell to the table beneath her, her shoulders shaking from her silent sobs. He saw Garrett Masters' face contort as he tried to hold in the tears while placing his arms around his wife's shoulders. A knock on the door caused Castle and Kate to turn suddenly. Ryan stood on the opposite side of the door waving them out into the hallway.

"We'll be right back…" Kate said as she and Castle stood and walked out the door, closing it lightly behind them.

"I take it you told them about the ID?" Ryan asked Kate while looking through the window to the Masters' grasping onto each other at the table.

"Yeah," Kate responded. "So what's up?"

"We've been trying to get in touch with Evelyn's roommate, Joselyn Camden, and she's not picking up her phone."

"Well, that's not in the least bit suspicious." Castle said sarcastically.

"Castle and I will head over to Pace and see if we can find her. While we're on that would you and Espo pull Evelyn's phone records? Her parents said she would call them nearly every night and I want that verified."

"You think they're lying?" Castle asked.

"Honestly, not really, but I have to work as if they are."

"So everyone's a suspect in a murder investigation?" Castle asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, everyone…you should know that by now."

"Oh, I do Detective, you are a _very_ good teacher" Castle said, still trying to put some playfulness back into their exchange. Kate gave him one of _those_ looks and said shortly,

"Ryan, let me know what you find in those phone records."; and grabbed her jacket and keys off her desk and walked to the elevator. _This is going to be a long day,_ Castle thought as he followed her to the elevator.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later idling at a red light at Broadway and Chambers in lower Manhattan., Beckett wondered<em> Why are the dang streetlights against me<em>. She could feel Castle's gaze on her. She knew he was thinking of something to say to try to break the tension in the car, but after her last remark in the precinct she thought he likely wouldn't try the comedy approach.

"Are you going to speak a whole sentence to me anytime soon or am I going to have to take up mind reading?" Well, she was only partly right on the comedy approach.

"No such thing as mind reading…" Kate said. After a beat she could feel the tension rising back in him. "But you could always try smoke signals…"

"How about Morse Code since we both already know it?" he continued. She smiled slightly as he began tapping out a rhythm on the dashboard in front of him: short, short, short; long, long; short, short; short, long, short, short; short. _Smile_. She couldn't help but do what he instructed as the light turned and they continued their trek south on Broadway.

"I'm sorry I've been a little short…" Kate began.

"Kate, I…" Castle began.

"This case has just been a bit crazy and with Gates…"

"I know…"

"Castle, I just want to say that I shouldn't take my stress surrounding the situation out on you. It's not your fault we only just got an idea on a victim we found over 24 hours ago or that Gates has decided to mess up everything."

"So that's why you've been so short today?"

"Yeah, why?" Kate asked, looking toward him.

"Just because…it's good to know."

"Well, like I said, I'm sorry and I'll try to keep a better handle on it."

"Yeah," Castle said with a sigh.

They pulled into a parking lot in front of a building labeled as the Michael Schimmel Center for the Arts. They had gotten in touch with the registrar and were able to obtain Joselyn Camden's class schedule. They walked into the arts building, headed up the center stairway and into the theatre, then walking down the right aisle toward the stage. A man who looked to be about 21 years old stood on the edge of the stage with a black headset over his right ear. He was speaking lightly into a microphone which sat just in front of his lips.

"Excuse me?" Kate said. The man turned toward them looking shocked. He whipped the headset off his head and crouched down on the stage to get closer to them.

"Yes?"

"I'm Detective Kate Beckett with the NYPD, we're looking for Joselyn Camden."

"Oh, Josie should be getting her mic. Just one moment." She watched as he placed the headset back on his head and pushed a button on the pack on his left hip with his left hand. "Hey Matilda, is Josie in there?" He was quiet for a moment, supposedly as Matilda responded to his question. "Ok thanks," he said into the microphone and then removed his hand from the button and slipped the headset back off his head. "She's on her way up from the green room. You can have a seat in the front row and I'll make sure she comes right over."

"Thank you." Kate and Castle turned and took places in the first row of seats in front of the stage. Kate watched as the man with the headset walked to the back of stage left, and saw him meet up with a young woman. Kate figured she was maybe 21 years old as well, with short blonde hair styled in a pixie cut. She was tall, at least as tall as the man with the headset and Kate figured he was at least five foot eight. The man with the headset turned and pointed toward Kate and Castle and the blonde woman moved downstage toward them.

"Hi, I'm Joselyn Camden. Ezra said you were from the NYPD."

"Yes, I'm Detective Kate Beckett and this is Richard Castle. Joselyn, you had said you would come down to the precinct today to speak with us but you didn't show."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I was hijacked by my director." She said. She sat down on the edge of the stage and let her legs hang over the side of the stage. "I take it the body that was found is Evie?" she asked.

"Yes it's her. We got the positive ID this morning."

"Man, I knew it. There's no way she wouldn't be here."

"Joselyn can you fill us in on Evelyn's activities on Sunday?"

"Yeah…we were up in Chelsea most of the day at the studio and then after we left she got a phone call from a number she didn't recognize. She picked it up and got really nervous. When I asked her who it was she said it was no one and then she just took off. She said she'd see me in class Monday morning. When she didn't show I called campus police."

"When you said you were at the studio, what studio is that?"

"Chelsea Studios on 26th between 6th and 7th Avenues."

"Her mother mentioned that Evelyn called them Thursday night and asked them to be praying for something she was nervous about. Any idea what it was?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, we went to the studio for an audition."

"An audition?" Kate asked.

"Yeah being in school here we can audition for Broadway shows if the opportunity arises. So we were perusing the casting calls on Playbill one night when they posted a call for vocal performers for Wicked. It's the show we both want to be in the most, so we decided that while we were here we had to at least try."

"So that's where you were on Sunday?" Castle asked.

"Yes. We arrived at 7am and lined up with probably over two hundred other people. It was ridiculous. We stood there for hours and in the end we weren't even seen since they had too many equity people show up."

"Equity?" Castle asked.

"Actor's Equity, union for stage performers." Kate answered. She smiled seeing the befuddled look on Castle's face. "Do you remember when you left the studio?"

"Yeah, it was around 5pm. We walked together to the subway to catch the 1 or the 2 back to lower Manhattan from 23rd but on our way there she got the phone call and we split," Kate could see the lines become more pronounced on Joselyn's face, "she said she would be back at the dorm by curfew. But when I woke up in the morning I figured she had just gotten an early start. Then she wasn't in class and I knew something was wrong."

"Joselyn, was there any reason you can think of as to why anyone may have wanted to hurt Evelyn? Jealousy? She looked at them the wrong way? Anything?" asked Kate.

"No…no one. We all loved Evie." There was something in her voice, maybe the quickness of her answer or the way her eyes didn't quite meet hers, that made Kate Beckett wonder if Joselyn Camden was telling her the truth.

"You certain about that Joselyn?" Kate asked attempting to push the girl just enough to get her to open up…or contract even further within herself.

"There were some petty things…"

"Such as?" Castle asked.

"We're theatre majors, but Evie was also double majoring in Chemistry. Some of the others called her a sell out and treated her like she was a wannabe. Like she didn't belong here with us. Especially once she started landing leads."

"So there was some jealousy with others in the class?"

"Yes, but nothing any of us would kill over. She would beat other girls out for parts, things like that...you could tell she was our Drama teacher, Mr. Stocker's, favorite."

"What do you mean?"

"He would always pick her to run scenes in class. We go over cold reading and she gets the first part, the best parts, the ones with the most meat to them. Some people where a bit annoyed at first…"

"But…?" Castle asked. "There's always a but…" he said to Kate while keeping his eyes on Joselyn in front of him.

"But we pretty much got over it. Most of that happened freshman year and we're seniors now. We grew up and let it go."

"We?" Kate asked picking up on the subtle word and noticed the shift in Joselyn's posture.

"Yes, we…"

"So you were jealous of your roommate as well?" Castle asked.

"At first. It was hard when I was the one she was usually beating out for parts. Just like Alice, she was cast as principal and I got understudy."

"Alice?" Castle asked confused.

"Our fall show is Wonderland. Evelyn was cast as Alice and I was her understudy. Now I guess I'm the lead." Joselyn said as she looked down to take in the hem of her shirt. A voice from upstage drew her out of her thoughts.

"Josie, we need you and Drew to run the duet."

"Ok, be right there."

"Now, Josie." The man said as she approached the trio at the edge of the stage. He towered over them. To Kate he looked like someone who was trying to compensate for something. "I'm sorry but I need my Alice to run a scene. We're already completely behind without Evie."

"Well I'm sure she would be sorry for being burned alive if she was here," Castle said sarcastically, making certain it was loud enough for half the theatre to hear. And hear they did. Everyone sitting on the stage and in the tech-booth behind Castle and Kate stopped what they were doing and looked to the four people standing in a cluster at the edge of the stage.

"Yes, of course," the man said, stammering. "Of course, what happened was horrible…"

"Yes it was. I'm sorry you are?" Kate asked the man.

"My name is Michael Donner, I'm the director of this show," He said puffing himself trying to get some broadness into his shoulders making Castle suppress a chuckle. "And you are?" he asked with a self-righteous air.

"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD." She said as she flashed tin at him. Castle swore he saw all the color drain out of the man's face in a millisecond.

"Well, Detective" he said recovering himself, "I am very sorry to have to steal Josie away. You are more than welcome to wait until we finish running the song or you can interview any one else from the cast in the meantime, but I really do need my star." He said with a flourish and beckoned Joselyn after him. She flashed them a sorry smile and then followed Michael Donner to center stage where an upright piano and another man – Kate guessed about 20 years old - waited for them.

"So are we interviewing or waiting?" Castle asked. Before Kate could answer the melody began to flow from the piano and she realized they wouldn't get much done in here until after the practice was finished.

"Let's just wait for a bit…see how long it is," she answered and took a seat in the front row. Castle followed suit. Soon the voices of the couple on the stage lifted into the air magnified slightly by the microphones which were tapped to their faces. From stage left Joselyn began to sing:

" _Oh no are those butterflies I'm feeling_,"

The man at stage right, whom Kate figured was the Drew mentioned by Michael Donner, then took up the refrain:

"_I guess I could settle down someday,_"

"_Although he is really quite appealing, in a silly sort of Wonderland way,_"

"_Seems like that I'm always thinking of her_,"

"_Who cares if I met him yesterday?_"

"_Seems like probably I'm sure I love her,_"

"_So I guess it happens just like they say,_"

Suddenly their voices were melding together, harmony lacing over the melody and forming a sound that seemed to make the very walls vibrate:

"_Love begins like a whisper_

_ Then it grows into a roar until you simply can't ignore it_

_ There's no way to conceal it_

_ And you know it when you feel it cause I know it feels like this when love begins_"

Kate was trying desperately to keep her eyes focused forward, fixing her stare at the couple on the stage instead of sneaking glances to her left – at Castle. But she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he thinking what she was? Was his mind reeling from the words being sung? Almost like she could be singing them…

"_What good is a hero under fire unless there's a lady who will care?_"

"_ What use is a streetcar named Desire if the happy ending never gets there?_"

"_Love begins from a distance_

_ Then it's close enough to touch until it's suddenly too much_

_ When love begins it's a wonder_

_ An enchanting spell you're under that you hope will never end_

_ When love begins_"

He could feel the heat rising in his chest and radiating through his arms, up his neck. _Why is it getting so hot in here_? He thought to himself forcing his eyes to stay on the stage. _Don't look at her_, he repeated as a mantra to himself, _don't look because she can't be thinking what you're thinking…she didn't feel it last night…maybe she never felt anything you were feeling…_ Joselyn's voice broke him out of his thoughts:

"_Listen for the hush right before the rush of it moves through your heart_"

"_Let it come to you, nothing you can do_"

"_Except let go and let it start_"

She couldn't help it. _ Why are you looking at him?_ She chastised herself. _You are completely insane...look away before he turns and sees you!_ She screamed to herself. But, she realized with a grin as she let her eyes remain on him and take in his profile, when did had she ever listened to her own good sense. She let her mind register the last stanza of the lyrics as Joselyn and Drew's voices once again melded together from the stage:

"_Love begins when it wants to_

_ You can't tell it what to do or who it ought to happen to_

_ When love begins it's like magic_

_ And it takes your breath away and makes you pray that it will stay_

_ When love begins_"

Kate could almost hear herself say the words as Joselyn sang: "_Oh no are those butterflies I'm feeling_"; knowing that the twinge in the pit of her stomach and the reeling in her head were not caused by stress or by lack of sleep…only him.

Castle, still trying to maintain his composure, kept his face forward. There was a part of him that didn't want to chance looking to his right as Drew's voice began to echo over the house speakers: "_I guess I could settle down someday_."

The music slowly faded. Joselyn and Drew turned toward their director, who was perched at the back of the theatre, with expectant faces. Kate was looking forward now watching the couple on the stage. She was trying and failing desperately to act as if nothing was different. That a stupid song from a musical hadn't just shaken open the lid which had been tightly placed on her emotions the previous night. _No,_ Kate thought,_ well before last night. More like right around two and half years ago._ _When he walked out of the precinct with Gina on his arm, or when he kissed me, when we nearly froze to death in each other's arms, when he confessed he loved me…_ her mind continued to run through everything the lid was keeping inside of her. She chanced a glance to her left once again just as he turned to his right and they caught each other's gaze. She tried to read what was in his eyes, but was he trying to mask things as well? Or was he really not moved be the song? _Stuff the lid back on, Kate,_ she pleaded with herself, _now is not the time. Finish the case, figure out who killed this girl and then you can face this_…_yeah right…_she added sarcastically to her internal debate.

"You ok?" Castle asked at the look on her face.

"Yeah," she responded, "just thinking."

* * *

><p>leave a comment if you have a moment! and thanks as always for reading!<p>

Amy


	5. Chapter 5

_This one is pretty much all case with a little bit of Lanie for flavor :) _

_Would like to give a shout out to my friend AP Scipio for helping me realize the initial way I wanted to kill my victim would never have worked :) so I hope you enjoy cause of death..._

_onward..._

* * *

><p>"Look the last time I spoke to Evie was three weeks ago, the night we broke up." The tall, slender man paced back and forth in front of Castle and Beckett in the interrogation room. To Castle and Beckett's left was the mirrored wall concealing Ryan and Esposito as they watched Evelyn Masters' ex-boyfriend, Ezra Markem, move nervously in the interrogation room. Ryan and Esposito looked at each other sharing raised eyebrows and eye rolls at the man's all-too familiar line. Ezra's hands alternated between ringing themselves over and over - to the point where Castle wondered how he hadn't rubbed them raw – and running through his long, dark brown hair giving the younger man an unkempt look. That along with the shiftiness in his eyes was not helping Beckett or Castle believe the man professing his innocence.<p>

After interviewing every last one of Evelyn Masters' cast mates, Beckett was led to her ex-boyfriend, Ezra. The story was simple enough and one Beckett had heard many times before: Evelyn and Ezra met at freshman orientation. Friends said it was just like in the movies and plays Evelyn and Ezra loved so much when their eyes met across a crowded room. Both were with friends who pushed them forward, urging each one to take a chance. Evelyn and Ezra obliged their friends and crossed the room that day. And for nearly four years they had a tumultuous relationship. The one tragedies and slasher flicks are made of, Beckett thought to herself as she watched Ezra continue to pace in front of her.

"Looks like you picked the perfect place to go to school," Castle said offhandedly. Aiming an eye roll in Beckett's direction.

"What?" Ezra stopped his pacing looking to Castle and Beckett.

"Have you attended Pace for the past three years straight?" Castle asked, wondering how many comments he could make before Ezra finally wised up. Ezra started pacing again.

"Yeah all three years. Freshman, sophomore, junior and now I'm a senior."

"Um, good to know that Pace is apparently giving their students a lot of steam to just keep going." Beckett looked down to her notepad willing her mouth to stay closed and trying to restrain the laugh that was threatening to come out.

"What?"

"Pace…really?" Castle said, his eyebrows raised. He could almost hear Ryan and Esposito dying with laughter behind the glass partition. This kid was golden for comedic fodder.

"Huh?"

"Mr. Markem why don't you have a seat." Beckett said willing herself not to look in Castle's direction or toward the mirror to her left.

"Um…right. Yeah I guess I can do that." Ezra stammered unconvincingly and plopped into the solitary chair across from Beckett and Castle.

"Mr. Markem you seem like a smart guy," Beckett said, aiming a quick kick under the table into Castle's shin just as he let out a low snort. "So how about we cut to the chase?"

"Yes, let's." Ezra said with a look of both overblown arrogance and trepidation mixed onto his features. Castle wondered how in the world someone could be so stupid and yet so intelligent. Ezra, they learned, was attending Pace on a full academic scholarship as a double major: Forensic Science and Theatre Arts. Lanie still had not called with the results of the analysis which was being performed on the sample of Evelyn Master's remains to determine if an accelerant was used to ignite her, but Beckett was certain that whether it came back positive or negative, someone within the field of forensics could certainly pull off burning a human being to death and then covering it up. Making Ezra Markem, at least until proven innocent, number one on her hit list for this murder.

"So tell me if you haven't talked to Evelyn in three weeks, why do her phone records show you called her around 10pm on Sunday night?" Beckett asked. Her question was met with a deep swallow of saliva from Ezra and a grin from Castle.

"Look, I can explain that…"

"Oh this should be good." Castle said as he sat back in his chair, letting his arms fold slightly over his chest as he stared at the young man. Ezra's warm light brown eyes looked from Castle to Beckett and back again and then fell to the table.

"We're waiting, Ezra…" Beckett said but he just kept staring like he was trying to memorize the grains in the table.

"Tick, tock, tick tock…" Castle said looking at his watch then back to Ezra who's eyes finally left the table to look toward Castle.

"Ok…look I called her because Michael, um, Mr. Donner said that he was worried about her."

"Really? That's what you're going with?" Castle said.

"Castle," Beckett said under her breath with just enough edge to her voice to make him shirk back into his casual position in the chair. "The director, Michael Donner, asked you to talk to her?"

"Yes. He asked me to stay after rehearsal Friday night. I'm on Tech, I run the light booth," He said in response to Beckett and Castle's questioning looks. "Anyways. Michael asked me if I thought Evie seemed a bit off lately. I said she did but that I didn't know why, since we haven't really talked much since we broke up. He asked if I would check on her and make sure things were all right."

"And did you check on her?" Beckett asked her hand poised over her notepad, pen in hand.

"Yeah. I called her like you said, about 10pm Sunday night. She picked up and said she couldn't talk. I asked her if maybe we could meet Monday before rehearsal but she got really evasive."

"Evasive how?" Castle asked.

"She just said that she wasn't sure if she had time and that she would let me know. She said she had to go and then she just hung up."

"Ezra…" Beckett let the name hang in the air for a moment before finishing, letting him wonder where she was headed next. "Phone records not only show the numbers that called Evelyn's phone but the duration of the call as well, did you know that?" Beckett let the information register in Ezra's brain and seeing the realization in his eyes, pulled a stack of papers from her notepad. She flipped the stack of pages so that Ezra could read them. On the top page highlighted in yellow was Ezra's cell phone number next to the time he called 10:12pm on Sunday. Next to the number was the time the call disconnected: 10:48pm.

"OK, look…" He pushed back from the table and just as Beckett was bracing to have to run after him, he simply started pacing again. Back and forth, back and forth. Left to right, left to right. Castle closed his eyes so as not to get dizzy as Beckett allowed her posture to relax slightly, letting her left arm dangle over the back of her chair. Her right hand remained on the pad in front of her.

"Ezra…"

"She answered the phone and she sounded so distracted," Ezra began. "She said that she was heading out to meet someone, but that she couldn't tell me who." He stopped pacing again and lowered himself into the chair slowly. Once he was sitting he ran his hands through his hair and let them fall on his lap.

"Ezra…you were on the phone with her for more than thirty minutes. What did you talk about?"

"I just tried to get her to open up to me. She used to be able to tell me anything." He said weakly. Castle looked to Beckett and watched as she pulled another page from her notepad and placed it in front of Ezra. Ezra's eyes took in the paper then his head shot up to meet Beckett's eyes.

"What is that?"

"That," Beckett said, "Is the GPS readout from your phone. Showing that, while you were on the phone with Evelyn, you were walking north bound on 7th Avenue into Chelsea."

"So is there a law against walking while talking to a friend on the phone?"

"Nothing at all, unless you happened to run into that friend and then steer her towards an alleyway…" Beckett said as Ezra's eye widened, the full brunt of Beckett's words finally seemed to register in his brain.

"Ok…I was in Chelsea because Josie said that was the last place she saw Evie. I kept trying to get Evie to tell me where she was and that I was heading to Chelsea to get her but all she said was that she wasn't there anymore. I asked her over and over to tell me where she was but she wouldn't."

"Sounds like she didn't trust you." Castle said letting his arms finally fall from over his chest and rest on the table top in front of him, lacing his fingers together slightly.

"Sounds like she was scared and didn't want to let on that she was talking to someone who could call the cops."

"That's convenient…your ex-girlfriend is walking through the city all alone at night but she won't tell you where she is because a hypothetical someone could be listening in and seeing if the cops will show up?" Castle said letting the idiocy of the words sink in with Ezra. _Seems to be a pattern with this kid,_ Castle thought to himself.

"Ezra, I thought we agreed to not pull this crap with each other." Beckett said as she dropped her pen on the notepad and pushed herself back from the table. "Looks like we may just have to try this again in the morning. - Castle." She said as he stood.

"Hope you enjoy your night in lockup. I think I saw them taking a drag queen down earlier…looked like Cher…should be thrilled to meet a cute young thing like you." Castle said to Ezra's shocked face as he stood and moved to follow Beckett from the interrogation room.

"No, ok…" Ezra screamed toward them after a mere second of hesitation. Beckett and Castle exchanged a look and moved back into the room, the door remained ajar and the chairs empty, but they were in the room; nonetheless, waiting for Ezra to speak. "I was walking down 7th because it's where we always used to walk. Talking to her…walking…it made it seem like old times, you know? I spent the first twenty minutes of the conversation trying to just get her talk and not hang up on me…I'm not sure why she didn't," he added lightly, speaking it as an afterthought. Ezra remained quiet as Beckett and Castle took their seats in front of him, watching as he starred down at the table in front of him. His brow was furrowed and Beckett could see him trying desperately to work something out in his memories.

"Ezra…why do you think she wouldn't hang up on you if she kept saying she couldn't talk?"

"I don't know. A couple times I thought I heard a voice in the background. The first time was about 25 minutes into the call and she started getting more and more agitated. But I figured it was just someone walking around, maybe harassing her or something."

"So you think that she didn't disconnect the call because she felt it might be safer to stay on the line than to deal with whoever might be around?" Castle asked.

"Maybe…but the voice got louder and by the time we did hang up I could hear her start to cry, the man yelled something and then the line just went dead."

"The man?" Beckett asked.

"Yeah, it was a man's voice every time."

"Do you remember what it sounded like? Did he have an accent? Was it higher or lower registered?" Castle asked.

"How should I know?"

"Didn't you say you ran the Tech Booth at the theatre?"

"Yeah, but come on…I wasn't in class…"

"No, of course, your ex-girlfriend was just being stalked by a crazy person who was screaming at her. Why would you pay attention to detail?"

"Hey, you know what," Ezra stood quickly letting the metal feet of the chair squeal against the linoleum floor. "I didn't think anything of it because I had heard that she was seeing someone else ok!"

"Heard from whom?" Beckett asked her pen once again poised in her right hand above her notepad. She would get something useful from Ezra Markem if it killed her.

"I don't know who, Josie just said she'd been getting these calls and one time when she picked up it was a guy's voice on the other side of the call. Josie said he hung up after asking for Evie once he realized that she wasn't home."

"Josie would be Jocelyn Camden then? Evelyn's roommate?"

"Yeah, yeah that's her."

"Ok Ezra, I'm gonna check on that and you'd better hope that Jocelyn confirms what you just told me."

"She will."

"Where did you go once the phone call ended Ezra?"

"What?"

"Simple question: where did you go once Evelyn hung up the phone? And before you answer," Beckett paused letting the moment sink in before continuing, "remember that I have the GPS readout from you phone and it will tell me where you were."

"I stopped by a diner Evie and I loved on 24th and stayed there until about midnight. Then I hopped on the 1 train down to Chambers and West Broadway and walked back to campus from there.

* * *

><p>"So we called Jocelyn Camden to confirm the freaky caller…and Ezra was telling the truth." Esposito called out to Beckett and Castle as they exited the interrogation room.<p>

"So why didn't she mention this to us when we were talking to her this afternoon?" Beckett asked with a distinctive edge to her voice.

"Apparently she didn't think it was anything important." Ryan read from his notes adding in an eye roll for good measure as the three Detectives and the Writer took their seats in chairs and on top of desks surrounding the murder board. Esposito had already removed Ezra from the suspect column as his alibi was solid and had also noted the strange phone calls from the unknown caller.

"So, Evelyn is receiving phone calls from a man randomly, who hangs up if someone else talks to him, but Jocelyn didn't think that was worth mentioning to us?"

"Got to love people's sense of importance when it comes to a murder investigation. They think we want – no NEED – to hear all about someone's eating and dietary habits, don't ask," Ryan adds to the looks shot his way from the trio in front of him and continues, "but something that is actually out of the ordinary is 'nothing important'." He finished with a flourish including air quotes.

"Yeah well got to appreciate the assist with the eating habits, right?" Castle asked earning him a glare from Ryan, a snort from Esposito and a smack on the arm from Beckett.

"So we know that Ezra Markem was no where near the alleyway during our kill zone," Beckett said as she rose from her chair and reached for the black marker on the tray beneath the board. "Jocelyn Camden was at a rehearsal with about fifteen other people willing to vouch for her…"

"But she didn't report a strange man calling her roommate." Castle added to her train of thought. Beckett looked toward him and then back to the murder board. Castle noticed her shoulders tense and could almost hear the wheels in her head turning. Her phone ringing pulled all four from their staring game with the board.

"Hey Lanie what's up?"

"Jackpot!"

* * *

><p>Within twenty minutes Kate Beckett, Richard Castle, Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan stood in front of Lanie Parish in the middle of an autopsy bay in the Manhattan office of the OCME. On the table sat an unassuming metal pan, which Beckett mused looked somewhat like a petri dish. Next to that a large white bottle of some chemical substance, she guessed and next to that a bottle of cough syrup.<p>

"Analysis came back in on the remains and it turns out there was an accelerant used."

"So what was it? Was she knocked out with cough syrup and made to drink bleach or something?" Castle asked quizzically attempting to guess at the contents of the bottles on the table in front of them.

"Actually, you're almost right, Castle." Lanie said.

"Really?" Beckett, Castle, Ryan and Esposito asked the ME in unison but each with their own tone of astonishment, excitement, disbelief and consternation, respectively.

"The analysis showed that the sample I sent not only contained human tissue but also showed signs of cotton."

"Cotton?" Beckett asked.

"Her clothes…" Lanie stated before continuing, "But along with the cotton were two substances: potassium permanganate and glycerol."

"And for those of us who flunked Chemistry…" Beckett asked.

"Here it will be easier if I show you," Lanie said as she moved the metal dish into the center of the table. With Ryan on her left, Esposito on her right and Castle and Beckett across from her she continued, "The dish is coated with Potassium Permanganate," she lifted her right hand, which contained a plastic dropper filled with liquid. "In this dropper is glycerol, which is a common ingredient in cough syrup. Now watch what happens…you may want to take a step back." She said as each took a step back from the table. Lanie reached her hand over the metal dish and released the dropper. In a moment the dish was engulfed in white blue flames sparked by a small explosion of intense white light. Beckett starred into the flames with wide eyes getting as close to the flame as she dared, just close enough to feel the flames on her skin.

"So, this is how she was burned?" Beckett asked.

"Yes. It looks like someone coated a thick piece of cotton with potassium permanganate and then, after it was over her, tossed glycerol on her and…"

"Poof!" Castle said.

"So who would have the knowledge to do something like this?" Ryan asked as Lanie extinguished the flames with the small fire extinguisher next to the table.

"Well obviously any chemist worth their salt, most people who had to take chemistry at an advanced level, but it's not as if it's a secret. There are videos of this on YouTube." Lanie said.

"Nice…so pretty much any yutz with Internet access could be capable of this…" Beckett said.

"Let's just not tell Gates that." Esposito said as Beckett's head fell into her hands.

* * *

><p><em>hope you enjoyed! also for a look at cause of death - click here: .comwatch?v=RWzZoaAOE3Y_

_thanks for reading!_


	6. Chapter 6

Posting early because my weekend is going to be RIDICULOUS with dance class Thursday, Auditions Friday and Callbacks Saturday as well as work!

Also - reviews! Reviews are our friends! I LOVE them...so PLEASE leave me some feeback..even just a "wow this is good" or  
>"holy dang that sucked"...always good to hear what people think of your writing :)<p>

Nick - so... :) went through and removed a bunch! Totally my verbal/writing filer!

Stella - thank you for helping with my rambling tendencies...I've had to write under word counts WAY too much and tend to get wordy!

Marjo - I just love messing with your mind! You can insert the Caskett stuff all you want...

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><p>Timeline note: Evelyn killed Monday morning, body found Tuesday morning and book launch Tuesday night; Evelyn's ID and questioning Jocelyn Wednesday morningafternoon; questioning Ezra Thursday morning. We are now at Thursday afternoon…OK? Good!

* * *

><p>Sitting in front of the murder board was driving Kate Beckett crazy. It didn't happen often but it was the first time she could remember being this frustrated since last year when she had shown up at a crime scene to find only a giant pool of blood and no body. Her mind continued to replay the scene in the autopsy bay of the OCME: the simple chain reaction of chemicals combining into something deadly. She could still feel the heat of the flames produced by the chemicals. <em>Maybe not just the chemicals,<em> she thought as she noticed Castle approach her desk out of the corner of her eye. He took his seat to her left and, placing his hands in his lap, turned to look to her. He didn't speak, didn't need to honestly, she could tell what he was thinking without him ever emitting a sound.

"Any grand theories to toss around?" Beckett asked.

"Sadly…no…and I've been racking my brain to try to find some and…just…" Castle said making a motion with his hands of what Beckett could only refer to as something going "poof!" just as Castle had stated in the autopsy bay.

"Joselyn Camden alibied out, her RA said they were running lines and working out some songs on Sunday night, and everyone was asleep by around 1am Monday morning." Beckett stated, attempting to make the timeline and other details clogging the murder board congeal into something resembling a lead. "Ezra's GPS readout from the phone shows him at the diner and then back at Pace during the kill zone."

"Is there any way the GPS could have been tampered with? Cause if I were writing the story…"

"Yes there's a way, but trust me, he could not figure it out."

"Why do you say that?"

"Did you see him? I don't care if he is basically a genius, he's a moron."

"So, square one?"

"We'll see once Ryan and Espo get back from talking to Evelyn's other classmates."

"Oh right, the Chemistry fellowship rivals…" Castle said with an air of mocking in his voice.

"Hey, they are chem majors and that means they would know about the toxic mixture used to kill Evelyn. Plus they have a deep seated vendetta against one another already…you should love them as potential suspects - they have 'motive and means' written all over them…"

"I do love them…as incredibly likely red herrings…"

"Don't start that!"

"What, you started it…"

"I did not start it….you started it…"

"How did I start it? You're the one who asked if I had any theories?"

"I…well…you…" Beckett began and faltered with each breath not being able to formulate a reasonable argument. _Damn him,_ she thought as she saw the smile spreading over his lips. "What are you, five?"

"Sure, sure, go _there_…you are such a sore loser…"

"I am _not_ a sore loser…"

"So you admit you're the loser in this?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Yes you did…you said you weren't a _sore_ loser…so that just means whilst you are not a _sore_ loser, you accept you are the loser of the argument, because that is not the part you objected to. Ipso facto, you are the loser of the argument." Castle said, puffing himself up slightly while enjoying the myriad of looks crossing Beckett's face. He saw his favorite - the "I'm going to murder you" look with just a slight hint of the smile playing on the edges of her lips.

"You suck…" Beckett said tossing a paper clip at him. Castle jumped slightly, as his phone rang suddenly.

"_Damn_ Castle, do you think your ringer is loud enough?"

"Decided it should be able to wake the dead…" he said as he checked the screen. "And its Paula, I'm going to take this." Beckett watched as he slipped from the chair and walked toward the stairs behind her. She stood and crossed her arms over her chest, allowing her eyes to fall back on the murder board – taking in every word, every detail, making certain nothing was missed. The white surface, once smooth and fresh, was now covered with photos (Evelyn's driver's license, prom picture and morgue shot; Joselyn and Ezra's headshots) and red, blue and black ink from the hand written information covering almost every inch of space. _There'd better not be much more to this case, otherwise we're going to need another board_, she thought as a voice from behind her shook her from her thoughts.

"Has it started speaking to you yet?" Beckett turned and met the bright blue eyes and porcelain skinned face of Alexis Castle. She smiled and turned so that she was completely facing the younger woman, letting her left thigh rest against the edge of her desk.

"Not yet sadly…your dad just walked that way," Beckett said pointing toward the stairwell, "On a phone call."

"Yeah I figured. Paula called me looking for him earlier. I was actually looking for you…"

"Really…?" Beckett said letting a smile spread over her lips.

"Yes, I was hoping I might be able to steal you away for a bit…maybe grab a coffee?"

"Well…" Beckett began but stopped when she heard Castle returning.

"I know you're going to be completely torn up about this…Hello daughter! What are you doing here?"

"Hello Father. I just thought I would stop by and try to steal Kate away for a bit."

"Oh good…Paula wanted me to get right over to an interview the _Ledger_ is doing with Natalie and Jason before the _Heat Wave_ premiere tomorrow night."

"Does that mean you have some free time?" Alexis asked looking at Beckett with an expectant smile.

"I have to go, I love you," Castle said as he placed a kiss on Alexis' forehead and looked to Beckett, "And…"

"I'll call you if Ryan and Espo come up with anything from the interviews."

"Great." Castle said then turned and walked toward the elevator pushing the down button. Beckett watched him as he stepped inside the elevator and then turned toward Alexis as the doors closed.

"So…café down the block?"

* * *

><p>"The last time I saw Evelyn was last Thursday in Lab." Cecelia Andrews' dark black hair hung down past her shoulders in soft waves breaking just over her arms, which were crossed defiantly over her chest. Her bright green eyes were narrowed and staring straight across the table into the unbelieving face of Kevin Ryan.<p>

"Look, Cecelia, we know that you made threats against Evelyn regarding her thesis proposal for the Chemistry fellowship."

"So…it's called freedom of speech." Cecelia commented with a wave of her hand.

"It's not free speech when it involves threatening another person's life…" Ryan countered.

In the adjoining interrogation room, Esposito sat across the table from Carter Wilson, a shifty looking young man who sat with his shoulders hunched, his gray eyes examining his clasped hands, which sat on the edge of the table.

"Especially when that person ends up dead…much in the same way you and Cecelia said you would kill them, Carter." Esposito finished.

"What?" Carter's light gray eyes shot up and met Esposito's across the table. "You mean she was…"

"Set on fire…yes." Ryan said. "Don't look so torn up about it…" he continued seeing the look of satisfaction on Cecelia's face.

"Look, I am sorry she ended up that way but I can't say that I'm surprised…"

"Why would you not be surprised by something like that?" Ryan asked.

"Because Evelyn Masters was a joke and everyone knew it." Cecelia responded.

"Why do you think she was a joke?" Esposito asked.

"Because she was only doing Chem to make her parent's happy. They didn't want her to be a theatre major, but that was her real passion…" Carter said.

"So you think she wasn't really interested in the fellowship at all?" Ryan asked.

"Are you kidding me? She couldn't have cared less…she told us as much." Cecelia said. "She was more interested in her Senior Showcase."

"What's a Senior Showcase?" Esposito asked.

"It's apparently this night where the seniors of the Theatre department get to show off their best stuff – songs, monologues – in front of people from the business. Casting agencies, talent agents…stuff like that." Carter answered.

"So if she wasn't really interested why would she go out for the fellowship?" Esposito asked.

"The only thing I can think of was because her parents wanted her to." Carter said.

"Why would her parents want her to do the fellowship?" Ryan asked.

"Because they thought that Theatre was not the, how did Evelyn put it?" Cecelia mused, "Proper lifestyle for her to be in, especially as a career."

"So what, you threatened to burn her if she didn't withdraw from the fellowship?"

"Look, she wasn't going to go to grad school…not in Chem anyways…and MIT is one of the best programs in the country." Cecelia said her voice growing more agitated with each word. "The fellowship meant a free ride and the only way that little poser was going to snatch it up was over my dead body…"

"Or hers?" Esposito asked letting the words hang over the frightened face of Carter Wilson.

"Hey, no…neither Cecelia nor I would ever actually do anything like that! Not to Evelyn or anyone else." Carter countered.

"Well we'll see about that. Where were you between 11pm Sunday night and 11am Monday morning, Carter?"

"I was in my dorm from 5pm Sunday night until 7:30am Monday morning and then I was in class from 8am Monday morning until after 3pm Monday afternoon."

"Cecelia…where were you from 11pm Sunday until 11am Monday?"

"I was alone in my room asleep all Sunday night and then in class from 8am Monday morning until after 3 o'clock that afternoon. You can check with my professors, they all know if I'm not in class."

"I'll bet they do…"

* * *

><p>"Ok, I cannot mention this to my dad because he'll flip and the only person I could think of was you!" Alexis exclaimed once she and Kate had claimed a small two-person table up against the large window in the front of the café. They sat across from each other with white ceramic mugs in hand.<p>

"Oh no, should I be afraid?"

"I hope not….but you never know…"

"Ok, now I must know what you're talking about. Spill!" the Detective said as she sipped her skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla.

"Ok…remember the guy I was telling you about at the book launch?"

"The tall, dark and handsome literary genius who kept giving you the eye? That guy?"

"Yes that guy…"

"Did he finally ask you out?"

"Yes he did, but that's not the scary part…"

"What's the scary part? I know…you're afraid you're actually going to have to introduce him to your father at some point?" Kate said with a smirk.

"Partly…yes…" Alexis said, biting her lip slightly.

"Alexis," Kate said narrowing her eyes toward the girl. "What's going on?"

"The guy…"

"Yeah?"

"His name is Ethan Gates." Alexis paused and let the words sink in. She knew the full weight of her words had finally registered when Kate's eyes went wide.

"What?" she finally whispered.

"Yeah…" Alexis said weakly.

"Are you kidding me?"

"If only…"

"But I thought that he was the TA for your class isn't that against the rules?"

"He's actually not the TA for MY class specifically, he's doing one of Dr. Waller's other sections because normally he has class himself during my section."

"_Alexis_…"

"I know! I know! I don't know how to tell my dad and he doesn't know how to tell his parents either…once he realized who I was…."

"How did he figure it out? Did you just walk up to him and burst out 'oh hi, by the way I know your mother because my father drives her crazy at work on a daily basis?"

"Actually, that's about it…" Alexis said as they both began laughing, drawing curious and annoyed glances from those around them. "He came up to me after class this morning and said that his parents had been invited to the launch for Richard Castles' new novel…"

"Of course he would bring it up since you're studying _Heat Wave_ for contemporary American fiction…" Kate commented.

"Exactly. When I heard them talking about their son Ethan at the launch party I didn't want to think it could be him, so I just figured it must be someone else. But once he said that, I knew it was him…"

"So what did you say to him?"

"I told him that I had actually seen them there…"

"And he responded with…?"

"Well, he asked me how I knew they were his parents, and then asked me why I had been invited."

"To which you responded that you're Richard Castle's daughter!"

"Pretty much!"

"Alexis!"

"I know! I don't even know where to go from here…but I need to figure it out and soon."

"Why soon?" Kate asked with a raise of her eyebrows.

"Cause he asked me out for tomorrow night but I told him I couldn't because of the _Heat Wave_ premiere…"

"Good girl…" she said raising her cup to her lips, then pausing when she noticed the look on Alexis' face. "Oh no….you didn't? You did!" Kate exclaimed as Alexis covered her face with her hands, "You invited him to the premiere?"

"Now you see my dilemma…?" Alexis said through her hands.

"Oh I see your death wish!"

"Ok, so how do I handle this?" Alexis asked removing her hands from her face and placing them protectively around her cup.

"Well one way would be to tell your father the next time you see him and just get it out of the way…"

"And behind door number two?"

"Just show up on the red carpet with him…"

"See, I love the way your mind works…" Alexis said as she lifted her cup and Kate followed suit, clanking them gently against each other in a small toast.

"Seriously though," Kate said after their cups had been placed back on the table.

"I don't know…I really like him, Kate. He's intelligent and gorgeous and funny and interesting…"

"And forbidden…?" Kate added with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Well, of course there's that!"

"As your friend, I say go for it. As someone who knows both your father and Ethan's mother, I say be careful!"

"I will."

"Good." Kate smiled. Over the past three months these moments had actually become precious to Kate. She enjoyed Alexis' company, more than she ever thought she would. During the four years she and Castle had known one another, the Detective had barely spent any time with Alexis and only once one-on-one before this summer. She was completely blown away by the woman she had grown to know, and found herself realizing that Castle had not exaggerated his daughter's attributes at all – in fact, she mused, he may have even downplayed them. She had been amazed to discover that they shared many things – a love of music, movies, theatre and books which had led them to many late nights over numerous cups of coffee talking about the latest novel read, the most recent film seen or the new shows opening on Broadway and once, even an impromptu concert in Central Park.

"Kate, now that my father isn't around…can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can…"

"What is going on with you two?"

"Huh?" Kate asked, after carefully swallowing her coffee and placing the cup on the table. She attempted to arrange her features to suggest she had no idea what Alexis was talking about, and knew by the look on the girl's face that she had not succeeded.

"_Kate_…"

"Alexis…your dad and me, it's…."

"Complicated"

"Yeah." she said, finally realizing just how ridiculous that word sounded. But after the months she had spent with Alexis, Kate found herself looking into the girl's eyes wanting more than anything to give her a proper explanation, "But it's more than that…"

"How so?"

"Alexis, there are things I haven't been able to tell him, that I can't tell him…"

"And you don't think there are things he's been keeping from you?"

"I don't…well…" Kate said searching Alexis' face for some sign that what she was saying was true. _Is Castle really keeping something from me_, she mused, _what could it be?_ "But whether that's the case or not…we work together…"

"No you don't…" Alexis interrupted. She paused letting the moment hang as she waited for their eyes to meet. "He's out after this case, right? He said Gates kicked him out."

"Well yes, that's true. Since he technically doesn't have any research left to do for Nikki Heat…"

"Then…what else is there? Secrets?"

"And circumstances…."

"Like what circumstances?"

"Alexis…I…"

"Look, I know my dad better than pretty much any other woman you will find on this planet…so I'm the one to ask if you have questions that you don't want to ask him directly." Alexis said. Kate looked at her, realizing how truthful the statement was, and even more surprised when this extraordinary young woman followed up with. "And I won't tell him unless you say I can."

"You tell your dad a lot… would you really be ok with keeping something like that from him?"

"Heck yes, are you kidding me…if it helps put your mind at ease about him, then I'm in." Kate sat for a moment, the cooled mug held tightly in her hands, carefully considering Alexis' words. Could she really let it all out…should she say it out loud…put a voice to all the doubts and the fears she let swim around unhindered in her mind. All the things she continued to use to talk herself out of a relationship with Richard Castle.

"Alexis I don't fit in that world…"

"What world?"

"The glitz and glamour world that he inhabits…I've seen the women he attracts and has been with…"

"And they are nothing like you…"

"Exactly"

"Don't you get it, Kate. He doesn't look for women like you because the last time he did, losing her nearly killed him. You know about him and Kyra…"

"A little bit…"

"I remember after everything fell apart with Mom, and then with Gina, how he always said that he would never go after someone like that again. In fact he actually said he would never settle down again, but I get the feeling that's changed…"

"Why would that have changed? He seems just as terrified of marriage as he ever has…"

"It's just an act…he doesn't want to scare you…"

"Me?"

"Yes you…he told me that you said to him you wouldn't be ready for a relationship at all until you solved your mother's murder, and he's terrified of pushing too hard and pushing you away."

"Alexis your dad has never…"

"He won't say it out loud, Kate, not after…" Alexis began and then stopped herself. She lifted her mug to her lips and tried to avoid the Detective's narrowed gaze.

"After…what?"

"After everything that's happened and things he's been through." Alexis said, attempting to cover her rash words. She let out a sigh of relief when Kate seemed to accept the explanation.

"What do you mean?"

"He's rushed into relationships and they've ended badly…Mom and Gina - both times - being the biggest culprits. He wants to do this right because, even if you can't see it, he's terrified of losing you."

"Alexis…I seriously doubt…"

"Well I don't" she interrupted firmly. "Because I know who my dad was before he met you, and who he is now…and Kate, you have no idea what you have done for him. I don't understand what you are both hiding behind and honestly, and I don't need or want to know – but you need to understand that he cares about you, more than you realize, and he will do anything to not compromise what he has with you because he can't lose you. And to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't want that either."

"Wouldn't want what?"

"To not have you in my life…or in his. I have never seen my dad as happy and…_alive_…as he's been since he met you…and I for one will do anything to make certain that he doesn't lose that because I love seeing him like that."

"I wouldn't want to not know him either…or you, for that matter…"

"Then just promise me that you will at least consider talking this through…with me, with Lanie, with Dad…doing so with Dad would be great!" Alexis said with a smile echoing Kate's, which was radiating through her eyes. "Even just admitting things to yourself would be a good start…"

"Yeah…easier said than done…" Kate said as Alexis looked down to her watch.

"Sadly, I have to get back to campus…" Alexis stood and grabbed her mug. Kate followed and they embraced one another. With a smile and a quick wave Alexis walked from the café, leaving the older woman alone with her thoughts.

She watched as a couple walked past the window hand in hand smiling and laughing. The woman's head was resting lightly on the man's shoulder as they waited for the light to turn allowing them to cross the street safely. Her mind wondered if it was really possible? She knew he'd said he loved her, he had told her in the cemetery on the day she was shot, but part of her couldn't help feeling he hadn't really meant it. That he said it, thinking she was going to die, and he would never have to act on it, therefore he had nothing to lose. Even as she thought it, she knew she was kidding herself…the look on his face in the hospital was proof enough he had meant it…so what was so hard? Kate realized Alexis was right…they weren't working together anymore after this case, Gates had seen to that.

Maybe Alexis was also right about Castle not wanting another trophy wife to show off at parties. Maybe he could actually want someone real…someone like her…with all her flaws, her scars, her imperfections and idiosyncrasies. The words she spoke to him on the swing set reverberated in her mind - that she couldn't be the kind of person she wanted to be, or have the kind of relationship she wanted, until her mother's case was solved…until the wall came down. If she was honest with herself that was just another lie, words said to construct yet another barrier between herself and her heart, and by extension, Castle. She had been working with Dr. Burke for months – since the sniper ran lose in Manhattan – to try and move forward, to not let her mother's murder define her and for her to start living her life. For the first time her own words echoed through her mind, settling into the hollow place where the memories of her mother took residence: _don't be so driven by the past that you throw away your future._

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><p>So I played this game with my Betas and I'm curious to hear what y'all think! Any ideas for who the murderer will be? Sound off in the commentsreviews!

And thanks as always for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

_So here it is - hope it works...I went back and forth over this for a long time not sure if it worked out alright...but I can't think about it anymore!_

_AS always to my amazing betas (stella, marjo and nick)...you ladies are the best!_

_enjoy!_

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><p>"You are never going to believe this…" Ryan said as Beckett entered the bullpen from the elevator fresh off her coffee date with Alexis.<p>

"I don't think I even want to know at this point." She countered as she approached her desk. She took her jacket off and draped it over the back of her chair as she pulled it out and sat down, turning towards Ryan who was standing in front of the murder board.

"Cecelia Andrews alibied out."

"Please tell me you're joking?" she said, part of her actually expecting him to say he was. _He's not Castle, _she thought to herself knowing that only he would do such a thing to her.

"Do I look like Castle to you?" Ryan said giving voice to her inner dialogue.

"Has Esposito finished checking Carter Wilson's alibi?"

"Not yet, he was running down the professors from his classes."

"If you were both running down people at Pace how did you get back before him?"

"I'm just that good…"

"You left him there and took the car didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you speak of…" Ryan said, a slight smile playing on the edges of his lips as he turned back toward the murder board, black marker in hand, to update the space under Cecelia Andrew's name in the suspect column. "Where did Castle run off to? I haven't seen him all day…" Ryan asked after capping the marker and placing it back in the tray under the board.

"He had an interview with the _Ledger_ …" Beckett said as she turned and noticed Esposito walking through the door looking agitated and obviously searching for his partner.

"You took the car…" he said in a measured voice to Ryan who was walking toward his desk on the opposite end of the bullpen.

"Sorry what?" Ryan said.

"You…took…the…car…"

"You…took…for…ever…" Ryan said matching Esposito's tone but adding his own hint of sarcasm.

"I was checking an alibi, bro."

"So was I…"

"Yeah well yours was easier there is no way anyone would forget that girl being in class."

"Why?" Beckett asked from her desk.

"Because she's annoying." Ryan answered. "Every single one of her professors remembers her VERY well because she's always speaking up in class…"

"Well don't professors usually like participation?" Beckett asked with a slight rise in her eyebrows.

"Not from Cecelia Andrews…" Ryan said.

"Didn't mean you had to leave me in lower Manhattan!"

"I was just supposed to sit around? We're in the middle of a homicide investigation after all." Ryan said with a smile.

"You were supposed to help out your partner."

"Hey not my fault your guy is apparently so forgettable."

"And it's not my fault your perp is so annoying!"

"You're the one who ASKED for Carter thinking he would be the weak link in a conspiracy or something…no take backs!

"That is so childish…"

"You're childish."

"Oh that's the come back…?"

"Yeah that's the come back..."

"That's lame bro, even for you…"

"Even for me!"

"Hey guys…" Beckett's voice interrupted.

"Huh?" Ryan and Esposito uttered in unison.

"I would really like to hear if Carter Wilson's alibi checked out or not…." Beckett said.

"It did." Esposito said as he and Ryan moved back toward Beckett's desk.

"WHAT?" Beckett exclaimed louder than she intended, startling the ten other Detectives and Uniforms standing around the bullpen and making them look to the trio gathered in front of the murder board. Beckett placed her hands over her face rubbing her eyes lightly with the tips of her fingers and leaned back slightly in her chair. "I…hate…this…case…" she said slowly, letting her fingers travel up to her temples as she began trying to rub away the migraine that was beginning to pound in her skull.

"Beckett…" the voice of Victoria Gates pulled her back to the moment and she removed her hands from her face.

"Yes, sir."

"What have you got on Evelyn Masters' murder?"

"Um, not much now, sir. Our latest suspects, Cecelia Andrews and Carter Wilson, both have apparently alibied out."

"Cecelia's roommate was up all night talking to her parents – they're on sabbatical in Hamburg – so she verified that Cecelia never left once she got back to the room. Every one of her professors also verified that she was in class all day Monday which covers our entire kill zone." Ryan said.

"There is a security camera at the entrance to Carter's dorm that takes video every minute, Carter never left his dorm." Esposito said.

"Well he could have snuck out of the window," Ryan said.

"Carter Wilson's RAs were patrolling the hallways pretty much every half hour after midnight and said Carter never left his room." Esposito said as he moved to cross out Carter's name under the suspect column of the murder board.

"Don't you think that's a little thin, Espo?" Beckett asked trying to ensure Gates wouldn't try to bust him in front of everyone.

"Yes it was initially." Esposito responded with a look at Beckett. "But since some of the guys had been caught sneaking out after hours, the two RA's took to actually checking IN the rooms for bodies. They went into Carter's once an hour and he was there every time. There is no way he would have had enough time to get all the way to Chelsea to get to Evie, get up to that alley and then back to Pace in less than an hour. Plus all of his professors, after some deep reflection," he said with a pointed look toward Ryan, "said he was in class. So his whereabouts are also accounted for during our kill zone."

"So what's the next move here, Detectives?" Gates asked looking from Esposito to Ryan then to Beckett.

"We are going to look into Evelyn's life with a microscope…Ryan, Espo bring her phone records back out and pull financials."

"You got it." The boys scattered and began pulling records from their desks and computers. Gates remained standing in front of Beckett's desk letting her gaze wander toward the murder board.

"The roommate, the ex-boyfriend and now the fellowship rivals have all alibied out…" Gates noted more as a statement, letting her words hang in the relative silence of the bullpen.

"We'll go back through all the notes and make sure we have alibis for every person we've talked to…"

"Sounds like the best place to start." Gates said as she turned to walk toward her office. She stopped after a couple steps and turned back to Beckett, crossing her arms lightly over her chest she regarded the Detective.

"Is there something else, sir?"

"Where is Castle?"

"Oh, he had an interview with the _Ledger_ before the premiere tomorrow."

"Oh, yes, the _Heat Wave _premiere…Jonah's really looking forward to it." Gates added softly. "Just let me know what you find."

"Yes, sir…" Beckett began before her mind registered what her boss had actually said, "You and your husband will be coming to the premiere?" she asked.

"Yes, Castle invited us at the book launch Tuesday."

"Oh, well…I will let you know if we find anything regarding Evelyn." Beckett said. Gates nodded an approval and turned, walked into her office and closed the doors. Beckett closed her eyes momentarily letting her thoughts settle on Alexis' revelation not thirty minutes earlier. _So the Gates' will be there anyway, this could get interesting,_ she thought. She let her mind mull over the revelation and admitted she was completely confused by Castle lately. She couldn't figure out why he would invite Gates to the book launch and now the premiere after Gates had unceremoniously kicked him out of her precinct. _What is his angle_, she thought. Then there were Beckett's own interactions with Castle at the book launch - he was acting strangely then as well. She didn't even want to think about the tingly feeling caused by his breath on the side of her face as he sang in her ear. His voice was so soft and pure it had nearly knocked her off her feet and she let herself smile a bit at the memory. But then he had walked away and left her standing in her hallway all alone. _And he hasn't gotten nearly as upset as I have over Gates kicking him out,_ she thought, _what if what he said really was just fleeting, words spoken in the moment and not meant to be heard let alone remembered. _She tried desperately to tell herself that maybe it didn't matter if he meant for her to hear his words in that cemetery, but she knew she was kidding herself. _If he didn't mean it then maybe that's why he isn't upset about being kicked out_. She let her eyes wander toward Ryan and Esposito as they hastily retrieved print outs and files and walked towards the conference room. She took a deep breath, ran her hands through her hair, stood and walked toward the conference room, entered the room and closed the doors behind her.

* * *

><p>Three hours later the three Detectives sat around the homicide division's conference table, which was buried under a mound of paper, files and coffee cups. Beckett rubbed her fingers over her eyes willing the blurriness that was invading the edges of her vision to dissipate. She opened her eyes and glanced back at the page on the table in front of her. It hadn't helped. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed heavily letting her hands fall on the back of her neck. She leaned her head back slightly and looked to Ryan and Esposito on either side of the table in front of her. She watched as Ryan laced his fingers in front of him and then raised his arms up straight in the air letting out a groan. Esposito closed his eyes and ran his right hand over his face letting his thumb and forefinger rest on his eyelids.<p>

"Anything?" Beckett asked breaking the silence hanging between them.

"Zip." Ryan said.

"Nada." Esposito echoed.

"How is it that every single person in this girl's life who had a reason to want her dead has an air tight alibi for her murder?" Beckett said, not truly asking her cohorts but musing to the universe at large. She placed her elbows on the table and let her head fall into her hands. The sound of her phone ringing startled them. On the fifth ring she located her phone under a pile of Evelyn's phone records and checked the screen. She smiled when she saw the photo and name telling her Castle was calling.

"Hey Castle, how was the interview?"

"It was great." He said, "Sorry it look longer than I thought, but Natalie and Jason and I decided to grab a bite after the interview."

"Oh, well you know that we are unable to function without you, Castle. Somehow, though, we struggled through"

"Good to know that you have managed to find your way without me…well, you all I mean, not just you…" Castle responded awkwardly.

"Castle…" Beckett said, trying desperately not to convey that right before he called she found herself wanting to hear his voice.

"Look I was going to head back to the 12th but Alexis just texted me that she wanted to talk…"

"Go, spend time with your daughter. We were just about to pack it in anyways, we're getting nowhere right now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Tell Alexis we say Hi and we'll see her tomorrow night."

"I will…and I'll see you in the morning?"

"In the morning…" Beckett responded and hung up the phone. She set the phone on the table and looked to Ryan and Esposito. "Let's get out of here. Everything is just starting to blur together and I can't decipher any of it anymore. We'll jump back in in the morning, ok?"

"Sounds great to me." Esposito said.

"Perfect, I can get home and spend time with my wife." Ryan said as a smile overtook his features.

"A little warm honey milk?" Esposito asked.

"Shut it," Ryan retorted. Beckett laughed and stood gathering files and her phone as the boys continued their bantering back and forth. _ And they joke about Castle and me practicing_, she thought as she walked from the conference room towards her desk. She dropped the files on her desk and grabbed her coat.

"I'll see you guys in the morning." Beckett said. She picked up her coat and headed toward the elevator contemplating a long, luxurious bubble bath while willing herself to not think about Castle and thinking of nothing else.

* * *

><p>Richard Castle opened the door to his loft not truly expecting to see his 18-year-old daughter sitting on the couch anxiously awaiting his return.<p>

"You just texted me. Have you been here the whole time?" He asked her as he walked to the couch and hugged her.

"I came here straight from class."

"You're making this sound very dire, pumpkin. What's up?"

"There's just something I need to tell you and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"Hold that thought," he said as he took a seat next to her on the couch, "the tone makes me think I should be sitting when you expose your soul."

"Dad…" Alexis said with a tone of joking reproach, one she had used endlessly with her father.

"I'm all ears."

"CaptainGates'." She stammered in one long breath while trying to gauge her father's reaction.

"Come again…I didn't quite catch an actual word in that." He watched his daughter take a deep breath and look him directly in the eyes. Their light blue irises locked and she spoke clearly and concisely:

"Captain Gates' son, Ethan, is coming to the premiere."

"Oh, I know…" he said with a wave of his hand.

"You know? How do you know?" Alexis questioned, then a thought occurred to her that made her mind reel, "Did Kate tell you?"

"I invited Doctor and Captain Gates and, of course, Ethan by extension. Why would Beckett have told me if Ethan was coming? Does she know?"

"Well I told her…" Alexis said quietly.

"Cause I haven't seen her since I left you two this morning…" Castle said then, after registering Alexis' comment, continued: "Wait a minute, how did you tell her? How did you know I invited them if I just told you?" Castle finished his eyes narrowing in Alexis' direction.

"Kate said to just tell you up front so here it goes…Dad," she said reaching forward to grasp his hands in hers. "Ethan Gates is coming to the premiere…as my date."

"Come again…" he repeated, his face revealing that he didn't quite believe what his daughter was telling him.

"Ethan is the Teaching Assistant for Dr. Waller, my professor for contemporary American fiction. He was sitting in on my section the first week of classes. On Wednesday he came into my section again and we started talking after class and…he asked me out."

"Ethan Gates?"

"Yes."

"Asked you out?"

"Yes."

"Ethan…Gates?"

"Dad saying it over and over isn't going to help…"

"The repetition helps it stay in my brain…Ethan Gates…" he said again then let the room fall silent. Alexis rolled her eyes and regarded him with a look of annoyance and expectance.

"Dad say something, anything," she said when he remained silent. He moved to open his mouth when she clamped her hand over it and narrowed her eyes, "If you say his name again I will pinch you!"

"Ok, geez, no need to get violent." He said as he reached up to his mouth and removed Alexis hand from his face. Her hand fell to her lap. He leaned forward and placed his right hand on top of both of hers enveloping them in warmth. "You like him…" he said more as a statement than a question.

"Yeah I do." She said softly.

"Honey, why did you think you needed to hide this from me?"

"Because I know that it's not exactly the best situation, with you and Captain Gates barely even tolerating one another…"

"But that doesn't mean that you have to hide the fact that you like her son."

"So you're ok with this?" Alexis asked moving her right hand from underneath her father's hands and placing it on top of his hands.

"I think I will be once my head stops spinning…"

"Daaad…"

"I'm ok. I'm glad that you told me and didn't just show up with him tomorrow. What?" he asked when Alexis began giggling.

"Nothing…"

"No what's so funny?"

"It's just that I asked Kate what she thought I should do and she said either tell you up front or just show up with him. You two..." Alexis said. She squeezed his hands gently with hers and stood, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek and turned to walk toward the stairs.

"What do you mean "us two"?" Castle asked his daughter's retreating back. Alexis turned and regarded him for a moment before speaking:

"Just that you two have this amazing connection don't you? Your minds tend to go to the same places and you think a lot alike. I find it amazing."

"You find our connection amazing?"

"Yes, but then there is also the fact that you can both be so blind to what is right in front of you. Goodnight, Dad."

"Goodnight, Pumpkin." Castle said distractedly.

* * *

><p>She stood in soft, dancing candlelight. She wasn't even certain where she was because she could only see rows of candles in the flawless circle, which ringed her. She turned slowly in a circle and her eyes fell on him. He walked forward and the light from the candles fell on his face and bathed him in a heavenly glow. She watched as he approached her with the candlelight glistening in his bright blue eyes. She felt his hand caress her cheek and move to run through her hair. Her pulse quickened as he moved closer into her. Closer. Closer. With each breath the small bit of space between them closed. All she would have to do was lean forward slightly and their lips would touch. She silenced every doubt raging through her head and the whisper of his name was captured in his lips on hers.<p>

She couldn't help the feeling pulsing through her. The way her mind was spinning and the fluttering in her stomach was getting stronger and stronger the longer their lips touched. She could feel his hands moved down her back slowly and she let her hands run up his neck and buried them in his hair. She felt his hands move under her shirt and could feel the warmth of his touch on her skin making her entire body tingle. She was reeling and didn't want to stop the flood of emotion coursing through her. Her hands left his hair and raised above her as he lifted her shirt up her arms and it fell to the floor. She was captured again by the look in his eyes as he pulled her back into him…

She startled awake limbs entangled in her sheets and heartbeat racing. She could still feel the ghost of his kiss and before she could stop them her fingers rested on her lips. She breathed deeply in and out, in and out willing her mind to stop replaying the movement of his body and the feeling of his touch. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 4:00am. _Looks like I'm not getting any more sleep tonight,_ she thought as she turned over and adjusted her pillow, settling in for another restless night.

* * *

><p>Across town, Richard Castle tossed and turned in his bed not having slept at all. His mind kept replaying Alexis' comment about him and Kate and their blindness. He knew that Alexis had always respected Kate. But he knew Alexis had also harbored anger towards the older woman after the shooting in the cemetery 18 months ago. It went along with Castle's own insistence on returning to the precinct; and his apparent willingness to put himself in harm's way; and for what? What was the reason he continued to return, he asked himself. He couldn't escape her, did not want to escape her. He wanted to be near her. And he had to stop pretending, he knew Alexis was right about that. But not pretending he was cop, that he was part of the team…pretending that he wasn't completely in love with Katherine Beckett.<p>

* * *

><p>When Castle entered the precinct Friday morning the first thing he noticed were the drawn faces of Ryan and Esposito across the bullpen as they gathered files and notepads from their desks. They both looked up and noticed him as he approached Beckett's desk.<p>

"Ah, so nice of you to bring coffee for the whole class, Castle." Esposito crooned sarcastically.

"Yeah, you're so thoughtful…" Ryan added.

"Well, I just didn't think…" Castle stammered as Beckett exited Gates' office.

"Why do you guys insist on giving him a hard time?"

"Because apparently you are the only one worthy of Castle coffee." Ryan said. Beckett smiled and reached out to grab the cup Castle extended to her. Their fingers brushed lightly, making her cheeks burn as her mind replayed the sensation of his hand caressing her cheek by candlelight. She tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear and thanked him as her eyes fell from his face. She prayed he hadn't noticed the blush that bloomed in her cheeks or the look she knew was prominent in her gaze. She moved toward her desk and retrieved her stored notepad and the files, before leading the boys into the conference room.

"So what did Gates want this early in the morning?" Ryan asked after the doors had closed and they had all settled around the table: Beckett at the far end from the doors with Castle at her right, Ryan to her left and Esposito directly across from Ryan.

"Just asking if we made any headway last night."

"And how mad did she get when you told her we had nothing?" Esposito asked.

"I didn't tell her we had nothing…"

"Beckett are you lying to the Captain now?" Ryan asked.

"I did not lie, per se. I just refrained from speaking certain facts about the current status of the case."

"And they say I'm the writer…" Castle said. "You could be in public relations with a rationalization like that."

"Shut up, Castle." Beckett said tossing a pencil at him.

"Now that I have lead poisoning…did you get anywhere last night?" Castle asked as Beckett glared at him.

"Not really," Ryan answered as he noticed Beckett was continuing her glare, and Castle was glaring right back at her.

"We went back over all of the alibis and all of our notes from every interview. So far, nothing has popped." Esposito continued as Beckett and Castle continued their glaring contest.

"Ha! You blinked, I win!" Beckett said after a minute of silence tempered with not so hidden smiles from Ryan and Esposito.

"So unfair I want a do over." Castle said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Uh uh, Castle, I won fair and square."

"You are such a sore winner…"

"And now who's the sore loser?"

"I am not a _sore_ loser…"

"So…we've been looking back over Evelyn's phone records," Ryan interjected making Beckett and Castle look toward him. "Nothing so far…"

"Why don't you hand me the bank records, I'll check those again." Beckett said directing a small smile toward Castle as Esposito handed her a file of papers. She set the file on the table, and they each fisted their coffee, pen or highlighter and buried themselves into a mound of papers.

* * *

><p>"I never thought I would get so cross-eyed from reading!" Castle said as he ran his hands through his hair. Beckett looked up and found herself mesmerized by his ministrations. She was captivated. Castle's hands fell from his face and he caught Beckett's eye. Their eyes locked, and they held each other's gaze. Both trying to look away, yet neither one willing to be the first to do so. They both jumped when Esposito's voice reverberated through the charged air...<p>

"Ok there is nothing weird about her phone records. She called her roommate, her ex. She called her parents every other day sometimes every night."

"Bank records aren't impressive for either Jocelyn or Ezra…everything looks normal and there is nothing outside of what their alibi's have already confirmed. Ezra has a charge at the diner Sunday night and then nothing else until Monday afternoon on campus at Pace. Jocelyn's show nothing after 6pm on Sunday night and the only charge before that was a market a block away from Chelsea Studios on 6th and 27th." Ryan said.

"Cecelia and Carter's bank records don't show anything out of the ordinary either," Castle said flipping through the papers in front of him. He looked at Beckett as she placed her fingers to her temples and again looked down at the bank statement in front of her. Only this time, something caught her eye. Castle noticed the slight lift to her shoulders and knew she had found something out of the ordinary. "What is it?"

"I think…I may have found something…" she said as she looked over the document in her hand. She uncapped a highlighter with her teeth and marked a spot about halfway down a page.

"Beckett…" Castle said but she was too engrossed to register his voice. She was in the zone now and he knew it as she reached across the table for additional files, glancing quickly through them to find the information she needed. Castle looked at Ryan and Esposito, and as they exchanged glances they leaned back in their chairs, awaiting the moment Beckett would share her revelation with the rest of the class.

* * *

><p><em>you thought you were going to find out who the murderer was didn't you?<em>

next time: unveiling a murderer and the _Heat Wave_ premiere


	8. Chapter 8

_And because the next couple weeks will be insane and I likely won't be able to post the conclusion until the middle of the month - here is a second chapter just for being awesomesauce!_

_hope it was all worth the wait!_

* * *

><p>"'Maybe there is a beast...maybe it's only us.'" - William Golding, <em>Lord of the Flies<em>

* * *

><p>"Thank you so much for coming by and sorry to keep you waiting. We'll try to keep this short; I know you have a flight to catch." Beckett said as she and Castle entered the break room. She took a seat at the table with Castle to her left. Directly across from them Garrett and Lisa Masters sat holding hands, cups of coffee cooling on the table in front of them.<p>

"Of course, has there been any news?"

"We actually just got a break in the case this afternoon." Beckett stated.

"That's wonderful…" Garrett said grasping his wife's hand tighter.

"We wanted to be certain to let you know before you headed back to Portland." Castle said as Beckett pulled out her notepad.

"Thank you for that." Lisa said quietly.

"I did want to ask you," Beckett said. "Where you both at home all day Sunday?"

"Yes of course we were." Garrett Masters said. "Well, we had service that morning at 9:30am then lunch with some members of our congregation, and then we went home."

"Enjoy a little Sunday afternoon nap?" Castle asked with a smile.

"Sometimes, but not this week…Garrett was doing sermon prep for this coming weeks' service and I was doing house work… - cleaning, laundry." Lisa said.

"So you would be surprised to know that your bank account shows a plane ticket was purchased in your husband's name?"

"I'm sorry?" Garrett Master asked looking from Beckett to Castle and then back again.

"Southwest airlines flight 256 from Portland International landed in LaGuardia on Sunday at 8:45pm."

"And…" Garrett asked.

"And their passenger list," Beckett said, "Shows Garrett Masters checked in at PDX."

"Are you telling me you think someone stole my identity?"

"That's not what she's saying…" Castle said.

"You think Garrett got on a plane and came out to _New York_? Anyone could have posed as him, purchased that ticket and gotten on that plane."

"That's what I thought as well, and then we found the CD in Evelyn's name," Beckett said.

"What are you talking about?" Lisa said.

"The Certificate of Deposit at OnPoint Community Credit Union which, until a week ago, held over $5,000.00 and named you both as trustees but not as account holders."

"So we set up an account for Evie for school?"

"That's exactly what it appeared to be…and that's likely what it was for. Then last week $500.00 was taken out and the next day, the funds appeared in your joint checking account and the flight was purchased."

"Really should have watched the paper trail." Castle said.

"It still doesn't prove that Garrett was on that plane," Lisa said.

"I checked with TSA, PDX and LaGuardia." She opened her notepad again and took out two photos and placed them on the table in front of the Masters'

"Exhibit A shows Garrett Masters in the security line at PDX." Castle said pointing toward the photo. Moving his finger toward the second photo, he continued, "Exhibit B shows Garrett Masters in the security line at LaGuardia boarding a Portland bound plane Monday morning at 8:00am."

"I came out to visit my daughter…what is wrong about that?" Garrett Masters said.

"What's wrong about that is lying to the police and saying it never happened." Beckett said.

"Garrett decided to come and see Evie when she wouldn't say what she was so worried about. He wanted to be here for her."

"That's very sweet of him. Making sure to be there for his daughter." Castle said, holding Garrett's gaze.

"Yes it is…was. Look, I won't have you people trying to make his concern for his daughter something to be suspicious of."

"I would say you made it that way when you didn't mention it." Beckett said.

"Well now you know…can you please tell us who in the world hurt our daughter?" Lisa asked.

"Oh we didn't make that clear enough?" Castle said.

"Make what clear?"

"That your husband was the one who killed your daughter." Castle said causing Garrett and Lisa Masters' shocked faces to shoot towards him.

"I'm sorry, what?" Lisa asked. "That's absurd."

"And now the question is whether you knew about it or not." Beckett said looking to Lisa Masters.

"Neither one of us knew anything about this until you called us." Garrett said.

"That's exactly what you wanted us to think, and what we thought before we started digging." Beckett said.

"Why don't we just cut the crap, Detective," Garrett Masters said with a bite in his tone.

"Yes, lets." Beckett said. "We did a little background check on you both and found that Lisa here, used to be a Chemical Engineer."

"Before she found salvation, of course." Castle said.

"So, I was a Chemist, what does that have to do with this?"

"Because a Chemist would know exactly how to create the concoction that murdered your daughter." Beckett said watching as Lisa's eyes met hers.

"Concoction?"

"Potassium Permanganate and Glycerol." Beckett responded and watched as Lisa's face went to stone. She did not react, did not try to speak, she just stared straight into Beckett's face with unflinching eyes.

"Again, sorry we kept you waiting." Castle said as Garrett Masters' left hand found his wife's right hand on the tabletop.

* * *

><p>"They killed her because they thought she was going down an improper path?" Gates asked with a tone of astonishment when Beckett and Castle emerged from the interrogation room.<p>

"Apparently they did not approve of her wanting to be in Theatre, thinking all it led to was compromise and loose morals. And then Evelyn started not telling them things, she didn't call as often and when they would look at her Facebook or her twitter they would see pictures from parties on campus and thought she had started partying as well."

"Only she wasn't telling them about auditions she was headed to because she knew they wouldn't approve."

"And the parties?" Gates asked.

"Friends and other students…they said she was always the designated driver." Castle said.

"So when they had finally had enough Garrett booked a flight out and found Evelyn while she was walking around Chelsea. They walked for a while and he ended up giving her a sweater…"

"Which was covered in Potassium Permanganate." Castle added.

"And once they were in front of the alley he walked her back behind the dumpster, offered and then forced her to drink the equivalent of five top shelf vodka martinis. Once she was good and passed out he pulled the Glycerol from a bag he had and doused her with it."

"Murdered their own daughter to keep her from a life of sin…I guess I've heard stranger things." Gates said.

"I've written stranger things…" Castle said, noting the look on Gates' face as he turned and walked toward the bullpen. He was approaching Beckett's desk when a voice to his left caught his attention:

"Richard Castle! Finally!"

"Paula!" Castle exclaimed as he turned toward her. She met him in front of Beckett's desk.

"We need to get all of you dressed! I already scheduled the limos to pick us up here…"

"You're on top of things aren't you?"

"Yes I am. Now I need you to go into that bathroom and change while Macie takes Victoria and Kate. Thank you." Paula said as she walked toward Kate and Gates who were standing in front of the conference room doors.

45 minutes later Castle stood in the bullpen talking animatedly with Ryan, Esposito and Jim Beckett as Lanie, Jenny, Martha and Alexis entered the homicide division. Hugs and handshakes were exchanged as the group's laughter rang throughout the room. Castle spied Gates walking from the end of the bullpen where the bathrooms were situated and noticed she was trying to hide a smile. Behind him he realized that Jonah and Ethan must have entered the bullpen and he turned in time to see Ethan take Alexis' hand and place a light kiss on it. Castle noted her soft smile when Ethan told her how fabulous she looked in the light blue dress she wore, and how it brought out her eyes.

He noticed a small smile erupt on Jonah Gates' lips and turned back toward Victoria Gates, who was still making her way toward them across the bullpen. He took note of the slight falter in the Captain's step and the look on her face when she looked to Castle. With a nod of her head she told him to follow her to the end of the hallway – away from the crowd.

"Look Captain, I know that…"

"Mr. Castle," she said cutting him off. "I take it Alexis told you about Ethan?"

"Yes she did. I just want you to know Captain, that I had nothing to do with this…"

"I know…" Castle noted she sounded like she could barely choke out the words.

"Did Ethan tell you about Alexis?"

"Yes. He told us last night…" she said letting her voice trail off. In the stillness Castle looked back toward his daughter and Ethan talking with Jonah, Martha and Jim. Castle looked back to her and finally allowed himself to try to speak his mind with Victoria Gates – something he had held in for the past year trying to make sure she didn't kick him out for saying something stupid.

"Look, Captain, I know that you don't like me and that you are very pleased with the fact that you wont have to deal with me being here anymore. My daughter likes your son, and if there is anything I know about Alexis, it's that she has a good head on her shoulders and when she cares for someone – she does it wholeheartedly. I know that we have never gotten along and I don't see that changing, so how about we just say we'll do our best to not taint our children's thoughts toward each other based on our personal feelings. We'll just let their relationship be theirs."

"Castle…"

"And if you really don't like me enough to think that telling Ethan anything regarding me would make him run from Alexis…"

"Oh I know it wouldn't work…"

"Huh?"

"Ethan's always been a bit of a rebel. He's always been a great kid, don't get me wrong, but he does have a tendency to jump into things – especially when we tell him not to do it! So I seriously doubt my saying anything would make him want to break up with her."

"Oh…well…"

"Besides, from what I know of Alexis from Beckett, Ethan could do much, much worse…" she said then turned and walked back toward her husband. Castle noticed Jonah lean down and place a kiss on her cheek. He could barely hide the shock when Victoria Gates reached out and lightly hugged Alexis.

Castle was brought back into the room when he heard the catcalls from the officers scattered throughout the bullpen - along with Beckett's sarcastic remarks in reply - and he walked back down the hallway and stepped in front of the group. He swore he felt his heart stop. Actually stop beating for a few seconds. Just when he thought she couldn't get any more beautiful, just when he thought he couldn't be any more in love with her. She walked towards the group in a floor length dress that lightly hugged every curve of her body from her chest to her thighs where it flared slightly. The fabric was deep royal purple and shone in a way that made Castle guess it must be silk which was then covered in a layer of delicate black lace. The dress had one bare shoulder and the fabric gathered over her right shoulder with strips of lace hanging down her back, which danced as she moved. Her hair was gathered in soft waves over her left shoulder with soft tendrils hanging down to frame her face. She stopped in front of Castle and smiled. _Well, now there's a reaction_, she thought when she registered the look in his eyes and the start in his posture as she guessed he had finally remembered to breathe.

"Is it that bad?" Beckett asked letting her hand move to her hair.

"No…no," Castle said. "You're exquisite." He added softly making sure not to blink and break the moment.

"You're not so bad yourself, Castle." Beckett responded and she let her right hand move to straighten his tie. They were both startled when Paula's voice rang through the crowd surrounding them.

"Ok limos are here and ready to take us to Lincoln Center. First car will be Dr. and Captain Gates, Ethan, Alexis, Martha and Jim. Car two will be Javier, Lanie, Kevin and Jenny. And in the final car will be Kate and Rick. Everyone ready?" Paula was met with a chorus of yes's along with timid looks from the final car's recipients. The group moved to exit the bullpen leaving Beckett and Castle standing in front of each other.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Absolutely," she said.

* * *

><p>The night passed in a blur of photographer flash bulbs and the feeling she was living someone else's life. Kate couldn't help but smile as she walked the red carpet holding tightly to Castle's arm. She was amazed how well the film turned out, even though it wasn't quite up to its literary counterpart, a thought she would never reveal to Castle. The movie ended with cacophonous applause from the audience and introductions of the leading cast culminating with Natalie and Jason as Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook, respectively. Leaving Lincoln Center, the group parted ways with the <em>Heat Wave<em> cast, leaving Beckett and Castle standing on the sidewalk with the Gates', Esposito, Lanie, Ryan, Jenny, Martha, Alexis and Jim. They each shared their goodbyes and 'see you in the morning's' as Captain Gates and Jonah hailed a cab to their house and Esposito, Lanie, Ryan and Jenny jumped back in the limo they arrived in. Beckett hugged her father, Martha and Alexis in turn and shook Ethan's hand happily stating that she was pleased to meet him. Kate noted the smile that beamed from Alexis' face when Ethan reached for Castle's hand and thanked him profusely for allowing him the pleasure of his daughter's company, calling him 'Sir'.

Martha, Jim, Alexis and Ethan slipped back into their limo leaving Beckett and Castle standing on the sidewalk, all alone once again as they waited for their limo to approach.

"So, can I give you a ride home?" Castle asked as the limo stopped in front of them and he held open the door for her. She answered by slipping into the car. Once he joined her inside, she allowed her left hand to find his right on the seat between them and held it tight. They rode in silence. She didn't know how to give voice to the thoughts in her head. All she could think was that the case was over and this was it. It was likely now or never and she just couldn't bear the idea of not having him around every day. Part of her had actually not wanted to see the case end simply to prolong the inevitable; to try and give them more time. The limo stopped in front of her apartment and she found herself temporarily paralyzed. Taking a breath, she turned to Castle and spoke before she could stop herself:

"Would you like to come up for some coffee?"

"Sure," he replied with a smile. His hand felt odd without the weight of her hand in his as he let go to exit the car. He came round to the passenger side and opened her door, offering his hand to her which she willing accepted. They walked into the building and up to her apartment and with every step her heart beat faster. She stopped in front of her door, keys in her hand, but couldn't continue the action of unlocking her door. She took another deep breath and turned toward him.

"Castle…" she began but faltered when she looked in his eyes.

"Everything ok?"

"What am I thinking?" she said, louder than she had intended.

"What do you mean?"

"What are we doing, Castle?"

"We were going to have coffee…" Castle said with that impish quality in his voice that she first heard when he asked her for pictures of murder victims to make his mystery writer poker buddies jealous. She found it just as sexy now as she did then.

"No, I mean what are we doing…the case is over, you're out of the precinct. Today was it."

"I was going to not think about it…" Castle said offhandedly.

"That's your big solution to all of this? To not think about it? You don't even care that we're not going to get to work together anymore?" Beckett railed at him, her voice getting louder and more agitated with each unanswered question she posed to him. Kate knew she shouldn't let herself get emotional over this, but for some reason she couldn't stop. It just kept spilling out. "You were just going to walk out after today and never think about us all again? Do you really not even care that our partnership is over?"

"That's a little uncalled for! Of course I care that it's over," Castle said his own ire rising to match hers. "I just didn't think that you would be."

"Why would I not be upset? You're my partner…"

"Yeah but you've never really said anything…"

"Neither have you! You just joke and act like everything is going to be fine and then leave people standing all alone in their hallways…" _Oh no, _she thought,_ don't go there, Kate. Stop talking before you say something you aren't sure you want to say_. Too bad she didn't listen.

"I'm sorry…" Castle said, though he wasn't sure she heard him in the middle of her outrage.

"You just don't do that. You don't have that kind of a moment with someone and then walk away without a word!"

"Whoa…hold on…" Castle said reaching out and placing his hands on her shoulders. She startled at his touch and he let his hands fall down her arms when their eyes met. When he knew he had her undivided attention he continued: "Are you upset that there was a moment? Or…or that I didn't take advantage of it?" He took note of the realization that instantly clouded her light green eyes. She took a deep breath, but held his gaze steady. She found she was actually afraid to look away for fear this might be another dream…how many times had she had this conversation with him in her dreams. Most times it ended _very _well, but sometimes it didn't. Standing here in the moment she was struck with the thought that she had no idea where this was heading – and it both scared and thrilled her, all at the same time.

"I don't know…" she answered him.

"That's not true and you know it." Castle said moving an inch closer to her.

"What do you want me to say, Castle?"

"I want you to be honest with yourself...with me."

"You want me to be honest?"

"Yes…"

"Fine…yes I thought, foolishly apparently, that something might happen after the book launch. We were just standing here so close and there was a moment," she paused and took a breath, stealing her resolve she continued: "and then out of nowhere 'goodnight, Kate' and Richard Castle runs off into the night." Her voice had risen again and she waved her arm down the hallway in the direction he had made his retreat just three nights earlier. _Stop talking, Kate,_ she scolded herself again,_ you're going off the deep end…_

"Well what did you expect me to do after your whole 'I can't be who I want to be until I solve my mother's murder' speech last year?"

"Oh don't lay this on me…" _heading past the point of no return…_

"Why would you expect for me to do anything that might compromise what we have right now?"

"Because you're supposed to be in love with me!"

* * *

><p><em>and there is penultimate installment, turtledoves! <em>

_eight down and one to go...thanks again for reading and leave a comment if you have a moment! Would LOVE to know what you think!_


	9. Chapter 9

_And the ending..she hath come!_

_Thank you thank you SO much to all of you who added story and author alerts and continued to read and comment on this story! I have had the best time writing it! I am considering doing a "sequel/followup" to it...so hit the comments/reviews and let me know if you would be interested in reading more!_

_A MASSIVE thank you goes to my amazing Betas - Stella, Marjo and Nick! - you ladies are sheer perfection and awesomeness and I am so thankful you took time out of your crazy lives to read my stuff! Thanks for all the giggles your comments and emails have afforded me in the long writing hours!_

_Onward ho!_

**_Disclaimer: If I owned or had anything whatsoever to do with this show don't you think Caskett would be together by now? Just saying..._**

* * *

><p>She watched his blue eyes go slightly wide as the words took hold of his mind and settled in. She wanted to scream, part of her wanted to pull the words back from the universe and erase the memory of the past minute. But she knew she couldn't. She knew that she had actually said the words out loud. And she knew that she was going to have to deal with whatever came next. She could see him breathing, his chest was just barely rising and falling but she could see it.<p>

"Come again…" he finally said, his soft voice cutting harshly through the tension and the stillness.

"I…" a sound to her left startled them and they both turned to see the older woman standing in the doorway in her night robe. She smiled when she saw them.

"Kate, sweetheart, don't you look gorgeous!"

"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Snyder. Is everything ok?"

"Oh yes, dear, everything is fine. I just wanted to see if you two would mind taking this argument inside? Normally I would not mind eavesdropping one little bit but Clyde…"

"Has been so ill. Oh Mrs. Snyder I'm so sorry."

"He's just been having some difficulty sleeping and he's finally just drifted off."

"We'll just…take this inside," she said with a glance to Castle then moved to open the door. She stepped inside her apartment and turned back to see Mrs. Snyder looking Castle up and down with a sly grin on her face. The woman was in her early eighties and feisty as a twenty year old sometimes. Kate couldn't help but smile and tried to suppress a laugh at the disconcerted look on Castle's face. Finally feeling generous and thinking this detour wasn't going to do anything to help his mood she reached out of the door, grabbed his arm and pulled him into her apartment with her. She closed the door with a last smile and a 'goodnight' to Mrs. Snyder, locked the deadbolt then chained the door. She took a deep breath in and exhaled before turning toward him. When she met his gaze she could still see the shock and questions lingering in his eyes. His countenance was clouded and she knew that she couldn't face this just yet.

"Kate…"

"Coffee…" the word shot out of her mouth louder than she had intended and realized she practically yelled it at him.

"Huh, what?" he stuttered.

"Coffee…you wanted coffee. That's why you came up here in the first place…"

"Kate, why don't we just…"

"Are you ok with decaf? It's kind of late…" she said as she began to move toward the kitchen. She stopped short, the air catching in her lungs and burning her through, when she felt his hand in hers. She turned at his prodding and looked back into those deep blue ocean eyes. She fought the urge to fall into him right then and there. To just say everything she was thinking – everything she was feeling. But just like she always did, she held it in. She shoved her thoughts, her emotions and her fears down into the hollow of her heart and placed the lid over it. _Not now, _she told herself, _just not yet_.

"Don't you think we should…"

"Castle," she cut him off before he could finish his thought. "I'm going to make coffee…and then…we'll go from there…" she finished softly, her words barely audible, even to him. He dropped her hand and she walked into the kitchen. He watched her and tried to organize his own thoughts. He knew he had heard her correctly. She'd said he was supposed to be upset about them not working together, about their partnership ending…that he was supposed to be in love with her.

Her voice was still echoing in his mind and he couldn't help but replay the look in her eyes – the passion that he so rarely got to witness burning with so much intensity that it nearly knocked him back. Once the pot finished brewing she poured the coffee into two white ceramic mugs and handed him one. She replaced the pot and grabbed her mug with both hands letting the warming ceramic push away the tension that was settling into her.

"We should probably sit." Kate said finally breaking the silence that had settled between them. She walked toward the living room with him right behind her, both of them absentmindedly sipping their coffee. She let him sit first taking a place on the couch then she sat right across from him on the coffee table. They both set their mugs on the table and she placed her hands in her lap and stared at them for a moment. She realized she had been picking at her fingernails. She pulled her hands apart and placed them palms down on her thighs and then looked up at him. He was staring right at her, and she knew he was waiting for her to speak. He was letting her take control and she couldn't help the feeling of relief and compassion that rushed through her at the realization. He wasn't speaking or trying to make her speak…he just sat across from her, his hands clasped in his lap and his eyes fixed on her.

"I'm not sure how to say this, so the best thing to do is probably just to say it…" she mused quietly, almost to herself. "I lied to you."

"What do you…?"

"Just let me get this out, ok?" She cut him off before he could finish. He could see the tension in her posture and knew not to question. She needed to say whatever she was holding inside, and him interrupting would only make her lose her nerve. He nodded slightly in response, acknowledging that he would not speak and let her say what she needed to say.

"I lied to you…to Kevin and Javi and Lanie…to my dad. I just didn't know what else to do." She was still staring at her hands and she forced herself to meet his eyes. She took a breath in and held it for a moment, just holding his gaze. When she exhaled, she spoke and her voice was just above a whisper: "I remember…"

She could see the question in his eyes and knew that he would not voice it – that he would keep his unspoken agreement to not interrupt her and allow her speak unhindered. And she was overcome with the thought of how thankful she was for it…maybe it would make what she was about to say come out more easily:

"I remember the shooting, Castle. I remember the feeling of the breeze so tender on my skin. I remember the sunlight glinting off the casket handles and the badges. I remember the sound of the gunshot – the sound was deafening and seemed so far off but right next to my head all at the same time. I remember the searing in my chest as the bullet ripped through my body. I remember the feeling of you tackling me. Then suddenly I could feel the coolness, the prickling of the grass." Before she even realized what she was doing her hands moved of their own accord and fell onto his squeezing them gently before continuing: "Then all there was…was a bright blue sky…and you - your face, your eyes...your voice. Your voice telling me to just hang on, begging me to stay…and then…" her voice trailed off. She waited for the moment and thought she just might implode when she saw the realization cross his features. His brow furrowed slightly and she imagined she could see the wheels turning in his head. "Castle, please, say something…"

"How long?" he finally said after a beat.

"What?" She asked.

"How long have you remembered?" she could see it in his face…he was catching on to something. He could always see through her. No matter how hard she was trying to hide it she knew that he could see it and lying at this point would only make things worse.

"Since I woke up in the hospital…"

"How much?"

"Everything. I remembered everything."

"So…"

"I lied…It was never blank, it's been there the whole time with startling clarity actually." She could see him physically retreat. He dropped her gaze, his shoulders slumped slightly and he removed his hands from under hers. He stood and moved around the coffee table and began to slowly pace the width of her apartment. She moved off the coffee table and sat on the edge of her couch watching his movements. She could see the frustration rising in him and was trying to prepare herself for the inevitable.

"All this time…" he said once he finally stopped pacing and turned to look her straight in the eyes.

"Yes."

"The entire time?"

"Yes."

"You didn't say anything…"

"I couldn't."

"Really, why?"

"You know why…" she said quietly.

"Do I?"

"Castle…I couldn't…I was with Josh and after everything with Montgomery…"

"That's a convenient excuse, Kate and you know it…"

"It's not an excuse…it's true…"

"Well it may be true but it's not the truth."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she was getting angry now. She stood from the couch and moved toward him. She stopped in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest and stared him right in the eyes.

"It means you're not being honest with me."

"I am being honest with you…"

"Then tell me why you really didn't mention that you remembered the shooting? That you remembered what I said…for sixteen months it just escaped your mind."

"That's completely unfair…"

"Then why, Kate? Why?" he was looking her in the eyes. She couldn't remember ever seeing so much pain in those irises…the only other time that even came close to this moment was their argument on the sidewalk, outside the bookstore only three months after the shooting. This was worse…he was hurt and upset, and she knew it was because of her. Which only served to make her lash out more…

"I don't have to explain every little action I make to you, Castle…I didn't say anything then because I was in a relationship…what did you expect me to do?"

"That's bullshit!"

"What about that is bullshit?"

"So then after you and Josh broke up?"

"What?" she could feel her delicate house of lies begin to crumble.

"Your 'relationship' explains the first three months, what about the last thirteen?"

"I was shot…"

"Yes, I remember. I was there…"

"What exactly did you expect, Castle?"

"I expect you to be honest with me. I expect you to trust me. I guess that's the issue, isn't it?"

"What's the issue? That you're blowing this completely out of proportion?"

"No, that you didn't tell me because you don't trust me."

"Of course I trust you." She said slowly, quietly.

"And again with the bullshit…"

"Hey…"

"You can say it all you want, Kate, but that doesn't make it truth."

"It is the truth…"

"You didn't trust that I would never push you or hurt you in anyway and you didn't trust that I could understand…"

"Well if that's what you meant then I guess you've proven me right because you obviously don't understand…"

"Well obviously, I don't!" He screamed at her. He stalked to the door, pulled it open and then slammed it closed leaving a shocked Kate Beckett staring at her apartment door in disbelief. For the second time in one week he had walked away from her leaving her with an ache in her chest and tears burning the corners of her eyes.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, with her five-inch, peep-toe, black satin shoes lying on the floor and her hair down in waves around her shoulders she sat on her couch with her head in her hands. She let the tears fall freely not caring about staining the satin and lace dress she was still wearing. She kept telling herself to go change…to just go change and accept the fact that the night was over and it had ended in a nuclear explosion. But she couldn't. She couldn't move from her spot on the couch…it had taken everything in her to get to this spot in the first place.<p>

She had only moved because she heard a knock on the door, maybe a minute after he left. Something inside of her stirred and she moved quickly to the door…she ripped it open and felt her heart fall into her stomach when she saw Mrs. Snyder standing in front of her. The older woman asked if she was ok. She had heard some yelling, and then the door slam, and wanted to make sure Kate was alright. Kate assured Mrs. Snyder that she was fine, it was just a fight and bid the woman goodnight. Kate walked back into her apartment, closing the door as the tears began to fall. Her mind replayed it all…every word, every expression on his face. She replayed the pain and the anger in his voice and the anguish – _that_ she hadn't expected. He had looked so completely anguished by the realization that she had been lying to him the whole time. For the past sixteen months she had told herself that it wouldn't be that big of a deal, that he would understand why she had not told him. She had not thought of the repercussions of her actions, how much it would hurt him. _That's what I always do isn't it?_ She chided herself, _I only considered myself and didn't think about him or his feelings at all…of course he's angry…I would be too._

Then she had to force herself to admit why she really hadn't told him all this time. Especially as they had grown closer. Yes, for those first three months she had been with Josh – though that wasn't really even true. Castle didn't know that she had broken up with Josh only a week after waking up in the hospital. Josh had gotten upset that she never tried to stymie Castle's very obvious affection for her and she balked, saying she had no control over the man's feelings. Josh wouldn't accept it. They argued and in the end he accused her of being so complacent in the matter of Castle's feelings because she was as much in love with him as he was with her.

When she did not respond to him, only stared at him in shock with her mouth gaping open, he knew he was right. _She_ knew he was right. He moved to leave her hospital room and Kate told him not to come back. He didn't. She was sent home the next day and then went out to her father's cabin the day after that.

Her father had brought her a copy of _Heat Rises _the day it was released and she sat on the front porch with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders reading the words. The events that had inspired the tome kept replaying in her mind. She saw Montgomery over and over again. The coolness of the hangar, of his skin as the life left his body haunted her dreams. Her heart broke when she read the final chapters and knew that if Castle could have had his way, it was how the real life situation would have played out. He would have taken the bullet for her…

Another knock on the door drug her back to reality and she wiped her face as she stood and moved bare feet over hardwood toward her door.

"Mrs. Snyder I promise I'm…." she stopped short when she saw him standing in front of her. "Castle." She whispered.

"Can I come in?" She didn't answer, just stood aside and left him room to enter. He was completely taken back by the look on her face. She had been crying, he could see it in the redness of her eyes and his heart ached slightly knowing he was the cause.

"Castle…look…" she said as she closed her door and walked toward him.

"Kate, just let me get this out ok?" He said echoing her words from not even an hour before. She showed him the same courtesy he had extended to her earlier and sat on one of the stools at her kitchen island. He ran his hands through his hair, an action she guessed he had repeated many times since he had walked out as his hair was sticking up randomly. It gave him a rugged, mussed look that just made her heart beat faster with the sheer sexiness he exuded.

"I have been pacing in front of your building for the past twenty minutes. I was going to just leave and go home but I couldn't. I just kept replaying everything and wondering how the night devolved so completely, so quickly…" He moved slightly closer to her. "I'm upset. I'm upset that you felt you had to lie to me for so long. I'm upset that you can seem to just put aside the fact that you hurt me so easily and I'm upset that you didn't just tell me up front. That the truth had to come out in an argument." She wanted to fight with him, to tell him that it wasn't easy to see him in so much pain and that it hurt her that he thought she didn't care that she was hurting him. But she held it in, she honored her agreement not to speak and allowed him to finish: "But I do understand. I understand why you didn't say anything. I know that I am not the most trustworthy person, especially when it comes to relationships and that you weren't certain if what I said was the truth."

"Castle," she said tentatively, testing the waters to see if it was OK for her to speak.

"Yes?" he said, his voice just barely above a whisper.

"It wasn't about you."

"Kate…"

"Maybe it was in a way," she interrupted, "but it wasn't only about you. I'm not good at this; I suck at relationships. And yes, at first, I wondered if you honestly meant what you said. But that wasn't the only reason I didn't tell you I remembered." She stood and walked closer to him, closing the space between them in two steps. "I didn't tell you because of me. Because I knew that the person I was at that point wasn't anyone who deserved you. I couldn't say anything because I couldn't face my shortcomings and all of the pain that I wanted to hold onto. I needed to let that go…to be the kind of person who would be worthy of being with you." She finished quietly. She gazed into his eyes and for one of the first times she could remember she wondered what he was thinking. She could normally figure out exactly what was in his mind by looking at him, not right now. Which was why his next action took her completely by surprise.

In an instant he had closed the small gap left between them, she felt his hands on either side of her face and then his soft lips against hers. In her shock it took a moment to realize that he was kissing her. She let her eyes fall closed and savored the feeling. How many times had she dreamed of this moment? The moment of their first real kiss…not brought on by a case, or the desperate need for a distraction.

Her mind was buzzing and all thought processes were gone. She moved her arms up around his neck and felt his hands move from her face and slide around her slender waist pulling her even closer to him. Her hands moved to run through his hair and she was amazed by how natural the act felt. She felt one of his hands move up her back and cradle her neck. She couldn't breathe and did not imagine he could either, but she couldn't bring herself to break away. After a few more seconds she felt his lips leave hers and she was struck by the impulse to grab him and ensure his lips never left hers again. He placed his hands on her upper arms as she slowly opened her eyes and met his gaze.

"I've been wanting to do that for years."

"Me too…" she whispered. She felt the blush in her cheeks when he smiled and let her hand move to cover her face.

"Kate…I want you to know that I heard what you said." He said as he reached for her hand and she looked him in the eyes. "On the swings in the park that day…that you won't be able to be the kind of person or have the relationship you want until your mom's case is solved. And I'm not going to push. I love you, Kate." A course of shivers shot down her spine as he placed his hands back on either side of her face. "I love you, and that means all of you. Every part. But, if you need time, then you can have it. Because when we do this, I don't want you with one foot out the door. When we do this – I want all of you."

"Even if I don't know how long it'll take?"

"Kate…I'll wait forever for you if I have to." He leaned forward and captured her lips once again. They broke apart and he ran his hands from her neck down the length of her arms. He grasped her hands momentarily and held her gaze. He dropped her hands and walked to the door, opened it and walked out of her apartment. Her hands flew to her chest and she closed her eyes willing herself to take in deep, even breaths. She ran her hands through her hair and then let them fall to her sides.

"What the hell are you doing, Kate?" she said softly to herself. She moved swiftly to her door, grabbed the knob and ripped it open. She ran out into the hallway and caught sight of him just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. "Rick!" She called out to him and he turned at the sound of her voice uttering his name.

"Kate…?"

"Maybe forever is just too long…" She placed her right hand behind his neck and pulled him into her once again. Their lips crashed together and his arms found their place around her waist. Once they finally broke apart, her hand ran from his neck to rest on his chest. The smile on his face was contagious and she couldn't help but mirror it. The sound of the door opening down the hallway caused them both to turn.

"You two are just so damn cute."

"Mrs. Snyder…were we being too loud again?"

"Oh no, dear, you're fine just wanted to see what was happening after I noticed your man here coming back to your place."

"Oh…well, we're just going to, um…take this back inside." She looked at Castle and raised her eyebrows. She grabbed his hand and led him back down the hallway toward her open apartment door. She looked behind her before the door closed and noticed Mrs. Snyder smiling coyly as she tried to lean far enough to see around the door. "Goodnight, Mrs. Snyder. I'll see you in the morning."

"See you in the morning, dear. You have a great night." She said with a wink and then disappeared into her own apartment. Kate smiled and closed her door. She turned and couldn't suppress the eye roll caused by the smirk on Richard Castle's face.

"So…" he said as he placed his hands in his pockets and rocked slightly back and forth on his heels. His voice has a slight singsong quality to it that made her eyes narrow even as a smile erupted on her face.

"So…" She responded, mimicking his tone and moving toward him.

"You like me." She punched him on the arm, but let a smile overtake her features.

"Shut up!" she said with a laugh and placed her hand in his. His eyes were shinning and seeing it made her entire body tingle. The warmth of his hand in hers felt so right and she leaned into him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"So…"

"We are not starting that again…"

"What now?" he finished and it hit her that there was actually what sounded like a bit of apprehension in his tone.

"Now we talk." She stepped back and led him to her couch. She sat and drew him down next to her. She turned toward him and, lacing her fingers through his, set their entwined hands on her lap. "I want to be with you, Castle. I want to give us a try…"

"So do I."

"On two conditions."

"Uh oh."

"Oh come on…hear me out!"

"Fine."

"First - we take things slowly. I've jumped into things too quickly and I get the feeling you have as well…and considering our history and everything I know I still need to deal with, I want to do this right."

"Agreed. Condition number two?"

"Second – we keep this as quiet as we can. No one knows."

"You really that ashamed of me?" he said, trying to joke, but she could hear the hurt creeping into his voice. She released his hand and placed both of her hands on either side of his face pulling him into her. She kissed him softly but tried to convey every emotion that was coursing through her in that moment. She pulled away and smiled at him.

"Condition number three is you never even think, let alone say that ever again. You hear me?"

"Yes, Detective."

"You and I both know that relationships are hard with just two people. Then you add in friends and family and it gets even tougher. Then you add in people at work and that just makes things insane. But we also have the added bonus of all of your fans! I can't handle having all of them – plus everyone at the precinct – in our relationship just yet. We're still figuring each other out. I do not need nor want all those other people in my head. I don't want to screw this up, Rick."

"Neither do I. I agree to condition two…what about…"

"Tell Martha and Alexis. I'll tell my dad. But no one else just yet."

"Good, because I don't think I could hide this from Mother and Alexis…I'm good, but I'm not that good."

"No, you are good, they're just ninja's when it comes to finding out your secrets." They both laughed at the truth of her comment as she reached for his hands again. "I know it's late, but I really don't want you to leave just yet."

"How about a movie?"

"I think I have the perfect one, too!" She got up off the couch and moved toward the cabinet that held her movie collection. While she was perusing her DVD's Castle removed his shoes and placed them under the coffee table. He then removed the leather jacket he was wearing and draped it over the back of the couch. When he turned back around she was staring at him with her hands behind her back and an excited look on her face. He couldn't help but smile. She was so damned adorable.

"Should I be worried or excited by the look on your face?"

"Oh, you should be so excited you can't contain yourself!"

"Ooooh, what classic film will we be enjoying this evening?"

"Oh, it's a classic alright." She smiled broadly and whipped the DVD from behind her back handing it to him.

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"

"The original! Bad camera work, acting, writing – the WHOLE shebang!"

"You _are_ the perfect woman…" She smiled, grabbed the DVD from him put it in the player and then reoccupied her place next to him on the couch. She moved closer to him and he raised his left arm, placing it around her shoulders. She placed her feet on the coffee table and relaxed into his side letting her head fall onto his shoulder as the music signaling the beginning of the movie filled her apartment.

* * *

><p>Half and hour into the movie, his phone rang. She lifted her head off his shoulder and narrowed her eyes at him. He gave her his best smile and reached over into his jacket pocket to retrieve his phone. He checked the screen and registered it was Paula calling. Part of him contemplated declining the call but he figured it would not be best to get on his book agent's bad side.<p>

"It's Paula, I should take this. Why don't you go and change…you don't look very comfortable."

"No, I'm fine."

"Kate…"

"Rick…" she mimicked him.

"You've been shifting every five minutes. Really go…"

"Are you sure? I feel bad that you just have to stay in what you're wearing."

"Trust me. The dress looks _amazing_ but I'm probably more comfortable right now than you are…sartorially of course…" he added with a wink in her direction. She slapped his arm playfully and stood from the couch. She walked toward her room and closed the door just as Castle answered his phone.

She changed as quickly as she could. She took care to hang the dress and ensure no portion of it was pooled in a way that it could wrinkle. It was only on loan to her for the premiere and there was NO way she could afford to buy it…so she took special care to ensure it went back in the same condition it came to her.

She walked from her room just as Castle was ending his call with Paula. The look on his face told her he was in shock over something his agent had told him and Kate was busy trying to figure out if it was good news or bad news when he turned toward her.

"Rick…you ok?"

"Yeah…everything is…fine actually."

"Care to elaborate on that any because you're kind of starting to worry me." He looked to her and smiled widely easing all the tension that had been rising in her. She smiled back at him.

"Black Pawn extended the contract."

"What?"

"Book sales are in for _In the Heat of the Night _and it's done even better than _Heat Rises _and reviews for _Heat Wave _are raves! They offered to let me write as many Nikki Heat novels as I want." Her eyes widened. Did she actually hear him correctly?

"So you're saying…"

"Paula already called Robert…Robert called the Commissioner…Gates agreed. I get to come back to the precinct…" She realized she could not speak. Her mouth was gaping open and she knew she looked like a fool right now but there were no words to express what she was feeling. She closed the small bit of space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close to her.

"Rick…that's amazing!" she whispered in his ear.

"Best news I could have hoped for." He whispered back to her. When they finally parted she took the opportunity to steal a quick kiss, leaving them both smiling as they settled back in on the couch.

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><p>The static from the television was buzzing in his ears and finally pulled him from his dreams. He looked to his left where Kate Beckett's sleeping form was cuddled against him - her head still resting where it had been when the movie began. He figured they must have fallen asleep during the movie and couldn't help the feeling that overtook him at the familiarity they had already acquired in such a short time. He allowed himself a moment to admire her. He had never been given this chance – to simply gaze at her while she slept. To study the slow rise and fall of her chest with her deep, even breaths. He noticed a small smile graced her delicate lips and he grinned, wondering what she was dreaming about and hoping it was him. He moved his hand to brush a stray strand of her soft caramel hair back behind her ear and allowed his fingertips to graze her temple then trace the line of her cheek, her lips, her jawbone and finally her neck as his hand fell back to his lap.<p>

Part of him was terrified he was dreaming - that the events of the past hours had not actually occurred. Looking down at their bodies curled together on her couch told him it wasn't a dream – he was still wearing the pants and shirt he had worn for the _Heat Wave_ premiere. She was curled into him in black yoga pants and a loose knit t-shirt that hugged her body in all the right places. He couldn't believe that after four years of dreaming of that first kiss – their first real kiss – the dream had not come anywhere near the reality. He never dreamt his head would spin the way it had, that the skin of her arms would be as soft as it was as his hands ran down them. For the first time in his life – he knew what hunger was…he hungered for her.

He knew he would respect her wishes. Take things slowly and give her the time and space she still needed to heal. He owed her that much.

The sound of his phone ringing ripped him from his thoughts. He slowly extricated his arm from underneath Kate's sleeping form being cautious not to wake her. Once his arm was free he leaned forward and his left hand grabbed the remote - silencing the crackling television - while his right hand reached into his jacket pocket for his phone. He checked the screen to determine who would possibly be calling him at 3 o'clock in the morning, but the screen did not show a number – only "blocked ID".

The writer in him instantly became curious. He knew that when Montgomery's friend called him the ID registered the same way. He looked back to Kate to ensure she was still asleep then stood quickly from the couch and walked toward her kitchen. He pressed the accept button and placed the phone to his ear:

"Castle." He said softly.

"Richard Castle."

"Yes. Who is this?"

"You don't need to know that. All you need to know is that you are someone who has made my life very difficult."

"I'm sorry…?" Castle retorted, more as a question than a statement. He couldn't place the voice on the other end of the line. It was a deep baritone, no accent, nothing distinctive that he could hear. For some reason though the voice sounded oddly familiar.

"Oh no, you're not. Not yet, anyways…"

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" He asked, his ire at the faceless and nameless voice rising with each passing moment spent on the line. There was something Castle finally picked up in the voice – hubris. Whoever this was, they were cocky and very certain of themselves. Which meant, by default, they were dangerous.

"It means that you should be careful, Richard Castle."

"Why is that?"

"Did you really think that by poking your nose where it doesn't belong anyone would be safe?" Castle's posture stiffened. _It couldn't be, _he thought, _this couldn't be about_…he tried to feign ignorance.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't play dumb," the voice cooed sarcastically, "You're too stupid for that."

"Hey look here…" his voice was beginning to rise.

"No, you look...right now…turn around and take a good long look at your girl there." Castle turned toward Kate, her face illuminated in an ethereal glow by the television screen. "You think about all the people you hold dear...all the ones you love. Think long and hard, because this is decision time. Whom do you protect? Your one true love - your raison d'être – or your family? Because it's one or the other, Richard Castle. You decide."

Castle turned from Kate's sleeping form and placed his hand over his mouth, hoping to block out some of the sounds of his anger from reaching her sleeping ears. He was readying himself to rail against the mysterious caller but the other end of the line had gone silent. The voice had issued its ultimatum and slipped quietly into the silence of the night.

The phone felt like a ton of steel in his hand as he walked back toward the couch and let it fall onto the soft surface. He let his eyes wander back to her peaceful face and the voice's words echoed in his mind: _ Whom do you protect?_ He closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, exhaling sharply. Her voice startled him and he looked up meeting her green eyes.

"Rick? Is everything ok? You look like you've seen a ghost." She said as she shifted towards him and sat on the edge of the couch.

"Yeah…" he said as he moved back to the couch and sat down next to her placing a kiss on her temple. He placed his arm back around her and leaned back into the couch pulling her as close to him as he could. He knew it would never be close enough. "Everything is fine."

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><p>Thank you again for reading...hope you enjoyed the ending! And leave a review if you have a moment...would LOVE to hear what you think!<p>

3 Amy


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